Believe in People: Addiction, Recovery & Stigma
Believe in People is the UK’s leading podcast dedicated to addiction, recovery, lived experience storytelling, and the power of peer support in transforming lives. Produced by ReNew, the series brings honest, unfiltered conversations with people who have faced addiction, homelessness, trauma, stigma, prison, relapse and recovery and found a way forward.
Hosted by Matt Butler and produced by Robbie Lawson, each episode provides real insight into the experiences behind substance use, the roots of trauma, and the pathways into healing and long-term recovery. You will hear from public figures, frontline workers, peer mentors, musicians, parents and people with lived experience who are changing communities across the UK.
Whether you are in recovery, supporting someone, working in treatment services, or simply curious about what real recovery looks like, this podcast offers depth, truth and hope. With new episodes released regularly, Believe in People is for anyone seeking honest stories, practical learning, and a deeper understanding of how people rebuild their lives.
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Believe in People: Addiction, Recovery & Stigma
Chiedu Oraka: The Black Yorkshireman. Culture, Identity, Drugs and Prison to Supporting Coldplay
In this episode of Believe in People: Addiction, Recovery & Stigma, Chiedu Oraka, one of the UK’s most distinctive emerging voices in rap, also known as The Black Yorkshireman, joins Matt to discuss dual identity, stigma, and the turning points that reshaped his life.
Born and raised on a Hull council estate in a Nigerian household, Chiedu grew up balancing two worlds: cultural expectations at home and the pressure to fit in outside - while carrying the weight of how others perceived him.
We explore how racism, reputation, and “estate survival” shaped his early choices, including the realities of alcohol culture, drugs, crime, and being labelled from a young age. Chiedu speaks candidly about the contradiction that defined a pivotal year: going to prison and going to university in the same year - and how that collision forced a change in direction.
Now, after performing at Glastonbury, opening for Coldplay, and supporting Skepta on tour, Chiedu reflects on success without abandoning his roots - using his platform to challenge stigma, widen perceptions of Black British identity and to pass the ladder down for young people who feel written off.
This episode offers practical insight for people in recovery, family members, frontline practitioners, and anyone interested in real stories of change.
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This is a Renew Original Recording. Hello and welcome to Believe in People, a two-time Radio Academy Award nominated and British podcast award-winning series about all things addiction, recovery, and stigma. My name is Matthew Butler, and I'm your host, or as Alexia, your facilitator. Today on Believe in People, I'm joined by Cheddar Racket, one of the UK's most distinctive emerging voices in rap, also known as the Black Kot. Born and raised on a council stainable, Chader grew up in a couple of two worlds: Nigerian home and British identity outside. That tension shaped how he saw himself, how others treated him, and the stigma he carried from a young age. In the same year, Chader went to prison and to university, a contradiction that captures the reality of his life at the time. We talk openly about drugs, alcohol crime, and stigma, and the turning points that forced him to change course. Since then, Chedo has gone to perform at Glastonbury, open for cold play and support Skepto and his well-taught, without ever leaving his roots behind. We begin today by talking about dual identity and how growing up between cultures shaped Cheddo from the very start.
SPEAKER_10:And I think it's something that I battled with for quite a long time, to be honest. You know, having them Nigerian expectations and my household being so Nigerian, and then when I step out onto the estate, it's it's a little bit of a different world. I'm going into my mates' houses, they're speaking to their parents a certain way, and doing and and demonstrating behaviours that really were quite alien like in my household. So it was always a bit of a battle. And I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to be like everyone else. Didn't want to be ostracised for my differences. Do you know what I mean? And when you're you're black, you're Nigerian, you're you're under you're under sort of a it's I don't know, like the eyes are always on you, do you know what I mean? Like I say, I was always tall, obviously I'm black, I'm on this rough council estate, and like I said, I just want to fit in.
SPEAKER_07:Because you mentioned just before we started, when we talked about that, being, you know, the the height you are as well as recognisable as you are, is a bit of gift of a gift and it's like.
SPEAKER_10:Gift and a case, most definitely. Obviously, I'm recognisable.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:There's not many six foot seven black kids roaming around in hull, especially back then anyway. Obviously, I wasn't six foot seven when I was younger, but I've always been tall. So it's always been, yeah, that's Chadu. But then if anything ever kicked off, I was always the first one to get the blame. I was always the first one to get recognised. I couldn't do a lot of the things that my mates could do because I'd just get recognised and I'd get caught and and and dicey situations would happen. But yeah, it took me a while really to admit this balancing act. I was never really I was never ashamed to be black, but maybe I was a little bit ashamed to be Nigerian. Even though I was born in the UK, but I'm Nigerian, my name Chedu. It means the Lord is the Lord is my shepherd. Or Raqqa. These are proper Ibo Nigerian names, so I can't hide the fact that I'm Nigerian and black. But I did used to sort of hide the fact or want or just what like I say, it goes back to just wanting to be accepted. Do you know what I mean? Because people would sort of ridicule and set the Mickey. Like, so like say for an example, my house. My house doesn't really smell the same as a a normal I say normal British person's house. Because just because of the foods that my mum was cooking. Do you know what I mean? So people and even the foods we were eating, some of my white friends would sort of like turn their nose up or and and and you know what? I'm I'm not I look back now and I'm not angry. It was just new to them. They had never seen it either. It's not your usual bangers of mash.
SPEAKER_01:I was gonna say, it's not chicken noodle noodles and chips, isn't it? I mean not beans on toast.
SPEAKER_10:Obviously, we had we we did have their meals as well. Of course we had their meals as well, but obviously our mum's Nigerian, so she's gonna cook Nigerian food. So, like I say, some of the aromas were a bit different. She's cooking crayfish and and and pounded yam and just like okra soup and meat, these dishes that I I love, I love them. These were my favourite meals growing up, but to my friends, when they're coming in, it's a bit mad to them. Do you know what I mean? And then my mum's cooking, like she's getting like fish from the fishmongers, and she's cutting the fish, and the house is just stenching of fish. Like my mates are thinking, oh, that's just a bit mad. And like they're going in the kitchen and they're just seeing like a fish head boiling in the water, and it's just a bit mad to them. But these are the little cultural things that made me feel a little bit different. I just didn't like it. I just didn't, and then even wearing traditional Nigerian clothes, I remember when we used to go to church and my mum used to like make us because my mum's like a proper proud Niger woman, so she's like, Yeah, you're not forgetting about your heritage and your culture. So when we're going to church and we're dressed in the Nigerian get up and we're walking through the estate, and people are like laughing, like, oh Chedo, why are you wearing a dress and stuff like that? You know, I mean, and it sounds it's you know it's really funny now.
SPEAKER_07:But at the time but at the time, I hated it. Because in those teenage years as well, like perception of your peers is so important. It's like you put it up there amongst I think just about anything. You want you want your mates to think that you're ah, it's all you care about is reputation. And like, I mean, obviously for you it'll be a bit different based on your career as a as a musician, but for me, I found that the older I got, the more I wanted to hide away from reputation. Yeah, I want people to hear my name and know exactly who they're on about. I want to be known less.
SPEAKER_10:You even got to like sometimes, obviously, when you'd have like you might have like a substitute teacher in class, and your name comes on the register, and obviously to save the embarrassment, you'd say your name for it. So they don't mispronounce it. So they don't mispronounce it, because when they mispronounce it, everyone's gonna start laughing and start saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just real little real little things like that used to be like they used to like really make me feel small and make me feel inadequate, to be honest. So yeah, I'd say I used to sort of hide, not hide my Nigerianness, but because I couldn't, like I'd say I can't hide it, but I wasn't proud of it. I didn't embrace it. Do you know what I mean? I'd be like, when people would be saying, like, like when people ask you the question, oh, where are you from? And I'd be like, I'm from Hull.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:And they're like, yeah, but where are you really from? That's the question where you're really from. And I'd get real annoyed because I'd be like, I'm from Hull, what you want about? I'm I'm British, I was born here, blah, blah, blah. Where now, if someone asks you where I'm from, I say I'm Nigerian. So I've sort of now I embrace my culture. I'm so proud to be Nigerian now. I'm so proud of my name. It's a powerful name. What's caused that shift then? I think I've just found myself. I think before I was lost. I was lost, to be honest. I wanted to fit in massively, that's all I wanted to do. I wanted to just do what everyone else was doing. And then yeah, there was just a there was just a switch of energy. But it's mad though, because even though I wanted to fit in loads and be like everybody else, I have always been different as well. I've always embraced like it's weird, it's it's real, and I know that might not make sense. No, no, it's not. No, I think I no, what it is is I always knew I was different, yeah, but I wanted to be like everyone else. Okay. Basically, that's that's the better way to explain it. So yeah, but I don't know what the switch was when I just was like, you know what? F everyone else, this is Chedow Oraka. Like I'm a proud Nigerian boy. I was born in Head and Road Hospital, like everyone else, but I'm a Niger boy, do you know what I mean? And I come with this Niger energy, and I just don't know. I think it was probably when probably un maybe when I left university times, I think maybe. Maybe, and when I started like getting more into music and wanting to find my identity as a musician, I think that's when it switched. So it took me a while, really.
SPEAKER_07:I I've it's it's funny you should say that. I mean, one of my part of my background, I was a professional wrestler for years. Oh, yeah. And one of the things that one of my mentors used to say to me was really embrace who you are and where you're from. Obviously, I'm British, whole, local lad, but amongst the the British wrestling scene, he said, You've got something where you stand out. He said, You're a councillor state on install. He went, no one else on the show has that about them. What is that like for you as an individual? How does that affect you as a as a fighter in quotations? How does that affect your character? He went, lean into it. Yeah, and I think I can kind of see that with you as a musician, probably going through the same turning of the cogs of this is what makes me an individual. Yeah like even in the local music scene, you know, that's what makes you stand out to anybody else who will be performing.
SPEAKER_10:That's exactly what happened. I just started leaning into it. Hence the name the Black Yorkshire.
SPEAKER_07:Well, that's what I was about to ask.
SPEAKER_10:So I just I just lent into it, mate.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, with the identity of the Black Yorkshireman, that is a title that does push race and regional identity into the foreground. So what made you claim that name, and what does it mean to you to be a visible black role model in a city where there are very few young black boys and men who will see themselves reflected here?
SPEAKER_10:You know what it is, it's just being like it's truly getting to that stage where I'm comfortable in my own skin, being called the black Yorkshireman. I'm black and I'm from Yorkshire. It's a stigma and a stereotype that's not really popular. So it was important for me to lean in it, lean into it, and it's my selling point. Where before, when I was rapping, I used to get real annoyed that oh, I used to think, oh, if I had a London accent and I rapped about certain subject matters, I'd be bigger. And I'm real angry, I'm real bitter because they need to respect me. And I was just like, you know what? Actually, this is my selling point, and this is what makes me different. I'm a six foot seven black kid who spits in a Yorkshire accent. This is my selling point. You have to respect it. And if you don't, I don't really want to know you. Like, no one wants to be saved the same food all the time. You don't want to be just saved bang as a mash every day for Tia. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes you've got to mix that up. Sometimes you've got a bit of you got you might have some chicken dippers, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_08:Or change the beer, a little bit fish fingers and traffic on this top.
SPEAKER_10:You might want to change the mash for some uh for some sweet potato fries, you know what I mean? So this is this so I I just learn to be comfortable in my own skin and realise there's no one better at being me than me. There's no there's no one out there like Chedow Araka. So embrace that and and make that your selling point.
SPEAKER_07:In terms of you know, going back into that story of creating your characterisation, even down to the selling point and marketing. One of the things that my mentor told me is, can you sum yourself up in three words? He said, if you can't, you need to go back to the drawing board and think about it. And you can do that with the black Yorkshireman, boom, there it is. Boom.
SPEAKER_10:That's it.
SPEAKER_07:That's it, it's just it says everything.
SPEAKER_10:Says everything. It's such a powerful thing. And I just thought about it one time when I was driving home one time from somewhere. I think I've been in London, and I was like, yeah, this is the new, this is the new chapter. I've been Cherower for time and I'm proud of being Cherower, but the Black Yorkshireman is just different. This is me owning my identity of just a black northern kid from a place like Hull, where rap's not even a thing, really, and I've made my own lane and I'm owning it, and if you don't like it, you can do one. So, yeah, that's really what the Black Yorkshire represents and what it stands for.
SPEAKER_07:How did you get involved in the local music scene? What attracted you to it, and I suppose what attracted you to just being a you know, following and pursuing being a musician and an artist in the style and genre of music that you're doing as well?
SPEAKER_10:So music really was always in my house. My mum used to throw the best house parties, and my sister, my big sister or big cousin, they were really into music like RB and hip-hop. So I was just listening to what they were listening to, and then obviously when I got to a certain age, I started sort of building my own collection. My sister had such an amazing CD collection, so I saw her collecting CDs, so I was like, that's what I want to do. So I started collecting CDs as soon as I got a little bit of money from my mum or doing chores in the house or anything like that. I used to go to HMV or Virgin Megastores or Andy's Records and buy CDs and read read the credits inside and the lyrics and stuff, and that was me. I was just sold on it. Loved the culture. I used to go to Notting Hill Carnival a lot when I was younger. I had an Auntie in Stoke Newington, and that's when I sort of first got introduced to grime music. And then, like I say, always loved music, always used to like freestyle and stuff and mess about. And then I had a good friend, I got to big him up, a kid called Danny Kraft, a kid who I've known for years, he's one of my best friends. He was rapping, and I just I just admired him because no one I knew was doing that. He's just a white kid, blonde hair, blue eyes, don't look like your stereotypical rapper, but he's just spitting bars and they're absolutely sick. And I thought, you know what, you're sick, like you're doing it in a whole accent. And I was like, You've you've got the bravery to do that. So it gave me the confidence to start doing it. So again, I was just freestyling at house parties, and he he sort of said I was good, and for him to say I was I was good, that meant a lot, do you know what I mean? And he was uh he said, Oh, why don't you just start writing lyrics down? So I started doing that, and then the rest is history, really, and that was probably like oh five, oh five, oh six times. So yeah.
SPEAKER_07:I think the interesting thing is when you do see not so much like you know, singers, but when when you see rappers that have, you know, been able to crack the mould and make it big, you just assume that in a way they was just naturally good at rapping, and it was a natural skill set that they've just capitalised on. Was that the case for you? Did it come naturally, or was it a lot of work to get to that point where you know what you were saying was actually good, it was drawing people in, you were telling that story. How did you evolve into doing it as good as you do now?
SPEAKER_10:I think it took a lot of practice.
SPEAKER_07:I always had an all right flow.
SPEAKER_10:That's that's what I mean.
SPEAKER_07:It almost seems like you you hear things in you, you just hear people like you know the stories of Eminem when he was like you know, prior to making it, you just think fucking, it was almost like it was just a natural thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Like Eminem's obviously he's a beast on the microphone, do you know what I mean? That's like the high echelon of being able to put words together. I always had an alright flow. When I when I first started rapping, like I said, I was just freestyling, so I was just saying any words and putting them together, and like I say, it always flowed. Obviously, the difficult part is actually writing and making words fit properly, subject matters and all that sort of stuff. But yeah, I'd say it's took a lot of graft, and to be fair, I'm I don't even think I'm anywhere near my prime yet. I feel like I'm gonna keep on getting better at my big age, do you know what I mean? So yeah, like, yeah, I'd say it it's not natural for me. I'm I'm quite a slow writer as well, because I'm I'm such a perfectionist. I don't like to waste words, waste lyrics, I don't like it. So it takes me a long time to write bars, to be honest. I'm quite, I'm very harsh on myself, even in certain studio sessions. It might take me ages to write a 16 bar, but sometimes it might not take me ages, but most of the time it does because I I care about my craft and I want every word to punch.
SPEAKER_07:As a side note, you know, talking about the difficulty in in writing, I think with the growing existence of AI, how does that play into I'm not saying you use it by any means, but how does like AI written lyrics, music, songs, how does that play into your field of the same thing? It's against it.
SPEAKER_10:It's against everything I represent.
SPEAKER_07:I can imagine that.
SPEAKER_10:Have you noticed people using it? I mean, no one that I know, but I know it's happening.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:I know it's happening. I'm r I don't even like this thing. I think there's like certain apps you can do to have rhyming words. Yeah, that's that's cheating to me.
SPEAKER_06:Exactly. It takes all authenticity from it.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, that's cheating to me. I'd rather it I'd rather spend six days thinking of one lyric than go going on Google and say and searching, oh, what rhymes with hat. Do you know? I mean, I that's not that's not really it's not part of what I represent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:I've got to this point with with all with a lot of things in terms of like social media, with art and creativity, that everything I read, it's almost like pretty sure that's AI. In everything, you're almost mistrusting of everything these days. And I guess I I mean just as an interesting side point, I've often thought, well, how long until it does start? I mean, mainstream media, they say it's it's like a factory package pop star has been pushed into the forefront anyway, and you do wonder how much will AI contribute to that in the future as well.
SPEAKER_10:I think AI is gonna take over. I honestly, yeah. I do. I think it's gonna, especially in the in the creativity and music world, I think it's gonna take over. But I think what AI can't do is that physical feeling of a gig. So I get certain artists might be a bit worried, but I I think you're never gonna be able to replicate that. That physical feeling of going to a music show and seeing your favourite artist on stage. You can't replicate that.
SPEAKER_07:And I don't think AI can really replic replicate true individuals like yourself as a musician, because you've got obviously such an interesting story, and I kind of want to go back to some of your earlier days because one of the things that you've said is that in the same year that you went to prison, you also went to university. Yeah. What was happening in your life at that point, and how did you navigate being seen both as like this troublemaker and an academic in the same year? Do you know the two very different subs on the other? You know what?
SPEAKER_10:It's mad that you've mentioned that because I I went on a football night out. It's probably showing my age year a little bit, because one of the young kids. I said, Oh, when are you when was you born? He said, 2007. I said, 2007's probably the most important year of my life. And he was like, Oh, why? Obviously, I told him, and when I went to prison, he wasn't even born. I went to prison in March 07, and yeah, he wasn't even a big thing.
SPEAKER_07:He wasn't even a thing. That yeah, it disgusts me. Do you know? I feel like I went from 15 to 34, like in the blink of an eye. It's ridiculous how fast the the world and time just seems to be be passing by. But tell me a little bit more about that entire that entire thing.
SPEAKER_10:So I'll just take you back to the beginning. So for me, I was I was always I was labelled a persistent offender from a young age. So the first time I got arrested, I was ten. Nothing major, just shoplifting from my local shop on Greenwood Avenue. It was called Centre Point. Got arrested, I got taken home by the police, and my mum gave me the biggest hiding ever.
SPEAKER_07:I was gonna say, coming from a Nigerian home, I imagine the punishment that you'd get going home to what one of your peers had getting is very different.
SPEAKER_10:Squealing. Because I always remember my mum on the side of her job, she used to do people's hair, you know, like braids and stuff. And I remember she was doing someone's hair. She'd just finished work, and it was definitely a weekday, and the police were Brought me home and mate. I just yeah, I remember like oh the police actually had had to like rest like restrain because back like now you could do that. Now the police the police would probably arrest the parent, wouldn't they? Like but back then obviously yeah it was it was we're talking what would it would have yeah it would have would it would have been the nineties yeah yeah just slapping me up mate and then but then that didn't stop me you'd think that would but again you're trying to fit in with the lads on the estate yeah I I'm I'm I'm never anyone who who what's the word sort of I'm not blaming the because I used to hang around basically I was I was younger. You take accountability for the always got to take accountability for my own for my own actions and I was hanging around with the older kids and the older kids would get me to like pinch stuff and black. You want to impress it comes back to fit it comes back to wanting to fit in the black. And the respect from your peers. Like obviously on on the on I mean you grew up on a council estate you know you know what it's like like estates is it's families yeah it's run by families I had no allies do you know I mean my sisters I've got a big sister but she's not about that life she's a she's a well she's she's not well back there you'd say she's a bit of a geek she was a bit of a nerd she's just a nice girl do you know I mean who didn't really go outside she was just hit her books but me I wanted to be outside I was outside from very young playing out probably playing out quite late as well so I just wanted to fit in so I'm in this environment with a lot of rum lads and I'm trying to fit in so I'm shoplifting nicking goodies nicking chocolate blah blah blah so that was the first time I got arrested but I was doing it all the time shoplifting was just standard mate I tried smoking when I was in primary school I remember bringing a pack of Lambert and Butler to primary school and smoking them out on at break time match no interest in it but just trying to pair it sort of pop a coffee not even how to take it back or anything but just putting out like a little candy cigarette literally it was just that that was it but because I hang around with some of the lads the big bigger lads so they gave me Sigs and smoked it blah blah blah and I tried drinking very young but that's just the estate life do you know what I mean and because my mum's Nigerian as well she's not really understanding what's going out there going on out there in the streets or she didn't really get it because young kids where she's from don't get up to this. Do you know what I mean? Like my mum didn't even when we used to smoke weed in my house my mum didn't even know the difference between the smells between weed and smoke. Yeah she just thought you're just smoking. She didn't she didn't know this is what this is what I'm dealing with here. Yeah there's almost like a level of naivety yeah naivety not ignorance naivety is the way my mum was very very naive really very naive so yeah like I say I was just shoplifting all the time petty petty crime when from the age of about 10 up until about like 12 and then I got I got I got arrested the first time I ever got cautioned by the police so like an actual you could say criminal record or even though it's a caution but was I I got caught stealing Pokemon cards at Toys Ar Russ. Joe I got caught stealing Pokemon cards from my local newspapers I just had a flashback learning getting chased out yeah so and that so that was that was the summer going from primary school to secondary school so I'm so young I'm a baby mate and I'm doing daft stuff like this and I remember I always could I always I always remember I could have got away that day as well. I come out of Toys Arts and some of the lads had obviously been caught but I was stood outside waiting for them and I should have just ran but I didn't and then I got caught and I remember I had to go to some youth youth court and there was some youth order and they were like monitoring me and this this this was like my primary school knew about this and then I've obviously gone into secondary school as well and like yeah it probably was like probation really probation like I had a little officer that used to come and see me at the house and and because I I don't know if they just thought my mum's struggling single parent don't really know what her son's up to she probably needs a bit of help and it was so embarrassing for my mum my mum this again the beatings and stuff like it was embarrassing that someone's coming into our house because her son can't behave and then yeah I I suppose from from petty shoplifting probably went into like stealing bikes I remember me stealing a bike at Hull University getting caught for that real dumb and stupid crimes. Then I started fighting I remember I got arrested because I punched the security guard in McDonald's after under 18's position got arrested for that like I was there was always a drama there was always some sort of caution or crime or something growing up always and then but this led to me having a stigma and a reputation and a lot of my friends' parents just thought he's the bad lad and we don't want our kids to hang around with him. And that had a real bad effect on me that to be honest and like I'd go to certain friends I'd be allowed in certain friends' houses but I wouldn't be allowed in other friends' houses and again there was no real guidance I always felt like I was on my own a little bit if I'm gonna be honest because they a lot of my friends came from like they had both parents in their households obviously they had family they had aunties uncles cousins all my family's in Nigeria do you know I mean all I've got is my mum and my sister no father figures no nothing so I always felt alone a little bit and always and I know a lot of it was my own fault me being a little bit of a toe rag but what I I wish sometimes is these parents who were supposed to be adults of my friends understanding why Chedo's like this. Ched was like this because he's a young black kid living on a on a on a council estate with no dad no guidance mum who's working three or four jobs basically getting raised by his big sister this is why he's acting like this because he's got no guidance really but they weren't thinking like that they were just thinking about their kids and how my behaviour is going to impact their kids.
SPEAKER_07:Don't get me wrong not all my friends' parents was like that I had some great I had some great some of my friends' parents were great do you know I mean they were great with me to take me places and stuff like that but yeah it did feel a little bit alone sometimes and then you commit crime and you just do daftness because you it's like a call for help really I think it must be that's it I that's what I was kind of thinking to be fair without the father figure there it is almost like a a bit of a cry for help and and without sounding controversial would I say this as well you're almost fitting into what would be quite the stereotype exactly of a young black man as well.
SPEAKER_10:Exactly I'm living up to my stereotype so from petty crime went to like me selling drugs and obviously school as well if we talk about school I got I got kicked out of school I was only allowed to I was only allowed to come back to do my exams yeah but there was a turning point really with at school and this was a man who I could say was a bit of a father figure or a positive influence. And I want to shout him out is a guy called Mr Davidson Mike Davidson and to be fair he's one of the most important figures in my life really because he was someone who saw the potential when all my friends' parents didn't really see the potential when people on the estate didn't really see the potential when a lot of the teachers didn't see the potential Mr Davidson did we had a common thing we're both Newcastle United fans he's a new he's a Geordie himself and he just he just saw the potential every time he saw me around school stand up straight a racker because obviously I'm tall I used to walk with a bit of a stoop just little things like that he was just a real top man and when I got kicked out of school at St Mary's I went to he he was deputy head and every time I used to kick off in school they'd send me to his office I'm off to see Mr Davidson blah blah blah and he'd he'd always give me a telling off and he was fair he was he was like one of those guys who like he was he was firm but fair yeah firm but I wouldn't and he's one of those guys who I if I let him down I'd feel real guilty because he put a lot of time into me so he said yeah you you you you've been obviously it's over now you you you're not gonna be able to come back to St Mary's but he was like this is the because I was always quite good at sport I played football I was quite quick sport was something that had my attention and he was like if you keep your nose clean like don't come back to school like don't come here at quarter at quarter past three when it when when when all your mates are leaving school just stay away I will try and persuade Mr Fitzpatrick who was the head teacher at the time to let you come to the sports college because it was the first year St Mary's was turning into a sports college so I was like oh this is going to be hard mate this is like my last year at school I want to be at school because I I enjoyed school yeah but it was just a youth club to me.
SPEAKER_07:That's it in it you kind of do you know everyone used to I remember the saying Jake oh you'll you'll miss school when you leave and I used to think nah fucking what and then you get into a job and you realize God how lucky was I just to spend six hours a day with my best mates I loved school I was always under the understanding of loving school no mate I I loved school hindsight thing for me where I'm like no no I'm not I'm not one of those who like who who couldn't wait to leave I loved it was like it was a safe haven.
SPEAKER_10:You know what? Because I was quite immature for my age really I look back I must have been because I loved the camaraderie the lads I love being with the lads terrorising school terrorising the teachers like we got we got to some we got to some mad stuff at school like some stuff that I probably wouldn't even like I I was a bit of a legend at St Mary's because of my behaviour like I was and obviously again tall black kid and the thing is though I'm tall and I'm black and I'm doing stuff of course I'm gonna get caught I'm the only tall black kid in the school do you know what I mean who did it well it was tall he was I don't know exactly what did I think I was always gonna get caught and I was always gonna get the blame and I I was oh it wasn't me what why do you always pick on me why we always pick on you Cheru because it it normally is you yeah yeah and you're like so you know what I mean so it's just like but I loved it I loved school like I if I could bottle up that feeling of being in school I would do I loved it mate I just loved the whole the ban uh just just yeah loved it and I was gutted when they kicked me out because I was like it's my last year I'm not gonna see the lads in my last year it's gonna be annoying but it worked out in the end so they let me come back to the sixth form and yeah so but then now I'm getting now I need money 30 quid EMA it's not enough mate for me. Do you know what I mean? So I started selling weed yeah and I had a decent little line to be fair like for my age for as a 16 17 year old like mate it paid for like I remember I went Falaraki 06 Kavos 07 paid for my holiday and my spends and everything like I was doing alright do you know what I mean but I got caught house raided first time I remember I think I was driving in my mate Reese's car yeah we had quite a bit on us and we was near near Napoleon's and we just got blue lighted searched houses just got raided boom to put me on like a what do they call it commun summut discharge I can't remember. It's a bit like a suspended sentence summut discharge I can't remember but this is a common theme though I've been arrested look I've been arrested so many times like going to cells was was nothing but first time getting my house raided was different because that's invading my mum's privacy that's it yeah your family as well that's not my mum's fault do you know what I mean my mum don't deserve that but me I don't care yeah I'm I think I think I'm the and the beatings aren't hurting now because I'm because I'm old now the beatings so the punishment it don't really matter like oh she should try to kick me out but I'd go to my mate's house for a day or two and then she'd feel guilty and then I'd be back do you know what I mean so yeah so the the crimes are getting a little bit more serious now and now I'm getting a bit more of a name around the city so I'm going out drinking round town and again go back to being go going back to what we was talking about earlier about being the target when you start going round town big tall black kid only young 17 grown men won't want to pick fights with you now so I have to defend myself and I'm not having it I'm not having it do you know what I mean like and obviously I'm hanging around with like obviously I'm I'm missing gaps in the story button No no no but some out but we'll get it but we so I started hanging around with like uh when I was like 16 I started hanging around with like you could say in air brackets a gang but kids from all different parts of the city and kids like from all from ethnic minorities. So I hung around with like two Syrian twin brothers a couple of South Asian kids a couple of mixed race lads and where the people used to call us like blazing squad and that but because everyone else every everyone else's crews and gangs were they were all white like yeah we were like multicultural is that what drew you together themselves I think so I actually think so because we had a common we had a common theme to fight for then but don't get it twisted the majority of people in the in the in the gang were white yeah I get that but the core were all from ethnic minorities and we used to suffer a lot of racism especially when we used to go around town like black this black that the M word the P word you and people were just jealous of us because we used to get a lot of girls and we dressed well and we we were cocky in that I'm not gonna lie but people didn't like it and we must have antagonized a lot of people because we used to fight it like I'm not over exaggerating every weekend we went out we had a fight if it wasn't in if it wasn't in heaven and hell it was in bedroom heaven and hell if it wasn't in bedroom it was in yellow if it wasn't in the yellow it was in HU1 if it wasn't in HU1 it was in Cheeky Monkeys If it wasn't in Cheeky Monkey Monkey If it wasn't Cheeky Monkeys it was it was goose and granite if it wasn't goose and granite it was Burritz do you know what I mean so like we had a reputation we get banned from everywhere mate and we used to go we used to go like Bev Road on a Sunday roundtown on a Saturday roundtown on a Thursday we was out all the time obviously we're young lads hormal we want girls you know I mean like that this is just what we're doing.
SPEAKER_07:I can't even do a day's worth of like you know drinking now it's the idea that I used to just be able to go all these nights in a row and now it's like yeah I couldn't do one now.
SPEAKER_10:So then yeah that's what we're doing we're going out all the time fighting like you win some you lose some there'd always be a get back blah blah blah we were we were quite petty and obviously some of us used to drive so we might if we if one of them if one of us got beat up or something happened we might drive to someone's area see them it was just tit for tat all the time and it just got serious like literally we we believed our own hype I think do you know I mean we thought our reputations meant very childish we thought our reputations meant everything that that that's what it was at that age though the reputation and all that sort of stuff and some mad stuff's happened like I've had I've had one of my one of my good friends got stabbed like from us going to have an arranged fight and it just went left and a knife got pulled out and and I rap about in one of my songs The Trials and Tribulations of CEO like it was it was a it was a very dark night very dark evening that but this is what's happening it's getting serious out here and then I went to jail yeah so oh sorry I just went around and but I'm just trying to build it no I've I've enjoyed it it's good it's good to get around I'm trying to build the story so yeah so when I went to jail so what so what I went to jail for is for fighting I had a so it was a fight Mainbus Beverly Road after the night after the night out there used to be a Chinese takeaway opposite Mainburhis and it wasn't even my beef to be honest but it's just an aver it's just an average night something's always gonna kick off so you've always got to be on your P's and Q's you've always got to be on your toes you've always got to be aware so what happened now someone had it was it was two bouncers actually but they wasn't on shift they'd gone for a night out I think they used to work at Piper I think and they'd my friend was trying to get into a girl that one of them liked and me and my friend are in the takeaway and they're basically set on us both one of the guys he's thrown a punch at me I've moved out the way and then I've hit him and he's hit the deck and I should have just left him there but I started kicking him and stamping on him and all that sort of stuff.
SPEAKER_07:Thinking I got it's when the adrenaline gets over confrontation it's not like do you when you see like trained MMA fighters where that once the once their opponent's down they know to stop but it's competition they're trained to handle that adrenaline rush that comes with physical confrontation but you see it all the time when you get into like physical fights like people don't know when to stop do they it's it's it's it's I I find myself quite lucky to be honest mate in the sense that you know you wear all the time on nights out when someone's killed someone off one punch.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah that could have easily been me on so many occasions on so many nights out from the age of 16 to 19 easily could have been me. I'm just one of the lucky ones I'm lucky it never happened to me because I've took pastings I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna be here claiming that I'm the artist man on Goldman I've just given out a lot more beatings than what I've had pastings but again I'm just one of the lucky ones so yeah I've walked away blue lights arrested me and me and my mate and they were only allowed to keep you in for like 24 hours before you I'm sure you know they let you go blah blah blah. Yeah they can't have any but they kept me in for longer they'd obviously asked the CPA because it was it was it was severe because like I'd hit him hard and I'd stamps on him and it was like it looked quite I'm not proud of it but it looked quite gruesome on camera so obviously they eventually let me out they bailed me and yeah they bailed me and then I had to keep on going so basically and then I got I got Someone to court, obviously. And I was at college at the time. And it was like a bit of a day out at college. So everyone at college had come. There'd be me, a couple of others, we'd get a lift there. Like a college day out. Like, oh Cherry was at court this week. And it just kept on getting adjourned. So I was thinking, oh, now it's gonna happen. Never in my mind did I think I was going to jail. Never in my mind did I think.
SPEAKER_07:Because you'd have thought if you was, it would have happened there. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Well, they tried to do me on a to be I've missed a bit of the story, they tried to do me on a section 18, which is one below attempted murder.
SPEAKER_02:Oh wow.
SPEAKER_10:I ain't got no love for the CPS. The CPS, in my opinion, are scumbags. But they actually turned it down to a section four. So even though they kept me in overnight, there was it was just a real weird situation. Like I don't know, I think I think the police wanted it to be more, basically.
SPEAKER_07:Do you think that going back to obviously, I mean, it's hard to say, but going back to you know, Nigerian roots, you race, do you think almost like trying to make an example of the police? Properly someone.
SPEAKER_10:The police are scumbags, man, the racist, man. They're the racists. I don't I mean, I ain't got nothing good to say about the police either. And you you may be right, but God was on my side and it got turned down to a section four, so yeah, I'm going to court. Blah, blah, blah. Agend, agenda, agend. And then this, there was this, I remember it was a f- I think it was a Friday. And it just somewhat felt off. I don't know what it was, it just felt off. Almost like you knew it was coming. In a way I did, but then but then I thought, nah, surely not. Surely not. Yeah, but it just felt off. Maybe it felt off because my si my sister came to court this day, my mum wouldn't come. So I'm there now. And I'm with my mate, my mate, my co-defendant. And I've got all my friends from college. And again, it's like it's a cool thing. Oh, Cheru's at court, bad boy, blah blah. I'm thinking I'm the guy, do you know what I mean? But I think I'm gonna get off. Then all these men start walking up the stairs like in like white shirts. And I look at my my boy, and I'm like, surely not. Like this can't be happening. Then they're just like, yeah, like Cheru Araka, we're sentencing you to a custodial sentence, blah blah blah. Like, and I'm like, it didn't feel real. It didn't even feel real the first night I stayed in in prison. Luckily, I got to stay with my friend. So my my friend, he got he got a lower sentence to me, I got the higher one. And we've gone, and we're there, we're sat on the bed, and we're just like, we're just in both utter shock. That we're both in jail. We couldn't believe it. And then we're there, and then a week later, I get shipped out, so you just got a bang, bang, bang on the door. Araka, or it might have been, they might no, I think it might have been just my jail number. We're shipping, you're getting shipped out, you're going North Alerton. I'm like, North Allerton, where the hell's that? So I'm me, me and me and my boy, I just we just hug each other. We're like, we're getting separated, we've cut, we've come to jail together, but we've never been, we are first-time jail guys, we've never been to jail before. This is a very new experience to us. And I'm leaving him, and it's like, it's like you're leaving your brother or your mum or something, do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_07:It was quite emotional because. Imagine you would have thought you were going in together.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, because obviously we'd spent a week together in jail. We're getting used to the jail life, do you know what I mean? Like the 22-hour bang up and all that rubbish and the rubbish food and calling your mum and all that stuff and playing pool on the landing and all that crap. So you're getting used to each other. Like, obviously, he's one of my best mates, so I know him anyway. So, really, again, it's a bit like a youth club. I'm just I'm just doing jail. I'm just doing jail, my mum. Yeah, it's all banner, do you know what I mean? Like, we're like, oh, we can't wait to get out, like blah blah blah. Like, and then boom, I'm gone, and I'm going to this other jail on my own. So I'm and it was quite a rough jail, Northallerton. Not obviously, nothing happened to me. And then, yeah, man, I'm just there. And it's just crazy. Like, I'm just in a total different jail. And obviously, you meet new people and and stuff, and but I got out early. Yeah. How long was you in for then? So I actually got out. I got sentenced to 14 weeks. I was supposed to do seven. And I only did about three weeks. That's not. I got out early because my mum appealed against my sentence. Obviously, my mum's traumatised. Of course, yeah. She's like, I didn't I didn't come to this country for my son to be going to jail. Like, what's going on here? Like, this is mad. And obviously, because it was a section four. Section fours are like public order offences, mate. It's like pissing on the street. Yeah. But it was the gravity of it though. So they had to do something. And like I remember when I was going up, when so I got I had to go back to Hull to do the the the retrial or the re- the yeah, the court case again. And I remember some of my pa some of the people on the landing was like, mate, you're mad. Why are you going back? They're gonna do you for worse. After what you've what you've done, why you why are you appealing? I said, my mum wants to appeal, like, what can I do? And then I ended up get I ended up getting up getting out. Worked out in your favour, then. Worked out in my favour. It worked out in my favour because then I could I could finish my coursework to go to uni.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, because obviously that's the that's the thing, still trying to. But mate, that ain't the that ain't the end of the story, mate.
SPEAKER_10:Go on, keep going. That ain't the end of the story. So you would think after that traumatizing experience, me doing basically a month in jail, you would think that I would learn my lesson. What do I end up doing? Something stupid again. So I had a friend in jail at the time, and I used to see him up and down the country. London kid, but he moved to Hull. He got he got uh caught dealing with class A's and he got sent to jail. And I used to sneak in jail, I used to sneak in drugs in jail, sneaking weed. So I was like, this is the last time I'm doing it. Because I used to do it over time. I did I must have done it in about six different jails. I had my own way of doing it. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, mate, this is the last time I'm doing it. I'm sorting out my life, I've just got out of jail, I'm gonna go to university, I can't be doing this no more. And then I got caught. I got caught doing it the last time. Like I say, I've done I must have done this. I've done it over ten times, never got caught. Always got past the sniffer dogs, always got past the guards. Creates this false sense of confidence, doesn't it? You think yeah. And I think it's because it was the last time. And weirdly, I did it differently to what I usually did it. Do it. I think it's because I was nervous because I knew it was the last time. Then I got caught, bang, got house got raided again, door got kicked in. Oh my I remember my sister. My mum won't even these times there, my mum had gone from being real aggressive and hands-on if I ever got into trouble, to just being like, whatever, this is just him. Like, God, what have I done to deserve this boy? This is just him. Do you know what I mean? I don't know where he's learnt this behaviour from. I'm an academic, his sister's an academic. Why is he behaving like this? I've just washed my hands, I just can't be asked. But my sister. Because the relationship with me and my mum and my sister is very obviously me and my mum's the most important person in my life. But we bicker like mad. Yeah. Because we're very similar. And it sometimes could be fire, meets fire. But when my sister gets upset, I don't know, there's something in me what gets real like it's upsetting to me. Because she's such an amazing. Oh, my mum's an amazing person as well. Oh, I get it, yeah. I don't know, like she's my big sister, but I've just got so much respect. Like every time I'm in a stink of a mood or she's the one who's she's the only one in this world that can calm me down and make me see sense. So when she's having a go at me, how dare you bring in. I was sat here watching something and the police just boom, kicks the door down, blah, blah, blah.
SPEAKER_07:Because there's an expectancy to get that sort of lecturing and the telling off from your mum, but I bet there isn't from your sister, is there? So when it comes from someone that you wouldn't normally get it from, it kind of hits a little harder because it's like, well, hang on, I must have really thought it'd be for you to have a go at me.
SPEAKER_10:So that that telling off really stuck to me. But this was one of the most stressful times of my life because this isn't a small crime. This is basically treason. This is Her Majesty's prison, Her Majesty's pleasure. There's signs all over the prison saying if you are caught sneaking in contraband, maximum prison sentences, blah blah blah. So that's all in my mind. So I'm thinking, they're gonna throw the book out of me. They're gonna think I've just come out of jail, I ain't learnt my lesson.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. First time you can probably get away with it a little bit, can't you? Because it's like first time I've got a lot of people.
SPEAKER_10:And I've got previous of weed and drugs before, and I've been committing crimes since I've been 10 years old. So they are going to throw the book at me. So I am so like my my uncle Dennis, God rest his soul. He he's got some contacts, he had he had some contacts with some decent law firm. Because at these times I'm using I'm using uh what's it called? What summer aid? Legal aid. Legal aid solicitors, do you know what I mean? Who are like budget solicitors, who are free. They've got a basic the the court has to supply the business. Like they're not good solicitors. No. So if if he's if this people are going because they're the ones who represented me when I went to jail affairs, yeah.
SPEAKER_05:So I'm like not much confidence.
SPEAKER_10:Not much confidence that I'm like, oh no, man, I'm going back. So my Uncle Dennis pulled some strings and he ended up getting this decent solicitor to represent me. And yeah, like I remember us going to one court case or one hearing in Leeds. Because it was Leeds jail. Yeah. And then that like Yeah, I remember us going there, and obviously I think that was just like the pre-hearing. And then boom, the big day, the big day comes. Bearing in mind, while this is all happening, I'm starting uni. So I've gone to Lincoln. My mum and my sister have said, you are not going to university in Hull. There's no chance. And I was a bit of a wimp then. My mates are everything. I only chose universities that were only one hour away. Because I would Hull was my life. I was so naive and so sheltered and so and so closed-minded that I didn't know weld outside of Hull and my council estate. But my mum was like, nah, you're not. So I applied for like, I think I applied for Leeds, met, didn't get in. Applied for Hull Uni. Hull Uni, but at Scarborough campus.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:And Lincoln Uni. And we went for an open dart Lincoln and my sister was like, you're coming here. This is the same feeling that I got when I went to Derby Uni. I've got this same feeling. I think you'll excel here. I was like, oh no, I want to go to Hull. It was like, you ain't got no choice, Jade, you're coming here. But anyway, so I'm start so, but at the but I'm like, what's the point of me going to what's the point of me starting uni when I'm going to jail?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:My mind's not in it, is it? My mind's not in it. What's the point of me meeting going through the motions? Going through the motions. Why am I meeting? Why am I meeting all these new mates? And I don't want no new mates anyway. I'm happy with my mates. That was my mentality. I don't want no new mates. But what's the point of me starting uni, starting a uni course when two weeks into uni I'll be I'm I'm going to court and I'm going to jail. My mum was like, you don't know what's going to happen. God's with you. Trust me. I think there's going to be a positive outcome, blah, blah, blah. I had no faith. And I always remember. So two of my mates and my sister, we drove to Leeds Crown Court for the big day. And I always remember when we were driving there. This this journey's going to be real awkward if I go to jail on the way back. My sister's going to be in the car with two of my mates, probably crying her eyes out. My mates are going to be like, not knowing what to do. This is going to be a real awkward journey. But my s again, this is why I got a big up my sister. My sister was there every step of the way. She was there when I got sent to jail. She was there with this moment. So I've gone Leeds Court, Leeds Crown Court. My solicitors took me into a room. He's like, I'll be honest with you. The judge. He's not a normal judge. He's a standing judge. He's actually a barrister. So I'm thinking, well, my chances are slim here because he's just gonna he's just gonna stick to the book. He's not gonna take no chances on me. And then he's like, I'll be honest with you, you you're more than likely No, he said, he said, just be very prepared to be doing a cost custodial sentence today. He said probably two years. Like he said, just be ready. He said you might you might you might get a suspended sentence, but that's the best, best, best case scenario. But we're gonna try and fight for you. So I'm there, mate. Every single time I've been to court, and I've been to court a few times, I've never dressed in like smart clothes. Yeah. Today, or that day I was in like a share attack. Yeah, probably playing the part, probably trying to play the part, and obviously they start reading what happened, a bit of my previous. And that the my barrister that day was sensational. Like, I don't even know his name. I wish I could find out his name, but he saved my life. Like just the this the just the the defence that he gave for me. He was just saying, like, this is a young man who, yes, he has got a frosty past, he's been through a lot, comes from one of the most deprived council states in his city, but he's got a way out. He's started university doing a sports degree, he's moved away from his surroundings. You cannot it would be a travesty to let this man, this young man, become another statistic. I get that. And mate, the judge gave me a suspended sentence with the conditions of me being on probation for the full three years whilst I'm at university. So every it started off every week I had to go to the probation and then it it lessened. It was like every month, then because obviously they saw the progress that I won't committing crime and that right there, sorry I've built this up to be like a big moment. But that that right there was the the changing of me because Lincoln University saved my life. I always I've said this to my because I've got a big friendship group from uni, and I always tell them that you, you lot, you don't know what you lot did to me, did for me. You opened my mind, you made this daunting experience of university, which I thought was daunting, but actually was a privilege to go to university and meet all these different types of people and just get a good education and take me out of my comfort zone. I thank them all the time.
SPEAKER_07:It sounds for the first time as well, you're in that environment and you're not treating it like a youth club either. No, I did though.
SPEAKER_08:There we go. So you made it sound like it was all enlightenment and it's not.
SPEAKER_10:You know what it's you I don't I don't university changed my life, but not really because of the education, because of the life skills it gave me, because it opened my mind. I was a full-on chav before I went uni. I thought everyone who wore skinny jeans and Doc Martins were absolute nerds. Do you know? And then I ended up wearing all that stuff. But like, yeah, I just thought the I just didn't think. I thought everyone who went uni were geeks. Like, obviously, I was talking about my sister, my sister went uni. My sister's a solicitor, you know, like high flying as well. Like, not criminal law though. She does, she does employment law, but she's a high fly, she's my sister is top echelon of academic. Like, she's very, very bright. My mum took her out of St. Mary's and she got a free scholarship to go to Hull Grammar Private School. She's that bright. Do you know what I mean? So we are. I I re I thought everyone who went uni was like her, perfect, goody two shoes. But when I went uni, I realised that's not the case. There's people from all walks of life. My mates from Hull, if they was in this room, they will say to you, there was a version of Chedu before uni and after uni. And the the the the version when I came back to Hull after uni, I was a total different guy. Totally different.
SPEAKER_07:It sounds to be fair, it sounds like quite the journey you went on as well. The journey's mad, mate.
SPEAKER_10:The journey's been the journey's been mad. I'm turning it down for time for time reasons.
SPEAKER_07:Well that's it as well. It's hard to try. I always say this, it's hard to try and put so much of someone's life in such a a short amount of time. Yeah. One of the things I wanted to explore with you really is that I suppose as part of this podcast series, a big part of it is around substance misuse, yeah, but also to talk about the creativity and and them sober curious choices because you've talked in the past about leaving resin behind, you noticed that your mates and your peers were feeling trapped by it. And now, as you're getting older, you've also talked about you know thinking about even giving up alcohol. Yeah. So, what's driving that shift for you, and how has sobriety or even them sobriety adjacent living influenced your creativity, your discipline, and that sense of purpose too?
SPEAKER_10:So I'm an avid Jungoer, avid, been into sport and being active from very young, even being on the estate, playing football every day and all that sort of stuff late. But I've always dabbled in obviously I didn't I didn't smoke resin and weed for years, but I probably had a drag of my first joint when I was like 11 or 12. Did my full GCSEs high. That's probably why I only got one C.
SPEAKER_09:But I was never I was never really academic head away, man.
SPEAKER_10:But yeah, I just yeah, that's what we did in year 10 and 11. We used to just do shodties in the back of the field. I'll go back to my mum's. My mum's was always a spot where we'd get high. Because she couldn't smell it, she didn't know what it smelled like. She couldn't smell it as that, like so. And then I don't know, there was a concept, it was real weird. I I always remember the last day I smoked weed slash resin. We was getting high in my mum's house, and one of my boys, Marco, you'll remember it. My mum came in while whilst I was getting it was it was a scene. It was an app because all my friends were real scared of my mum.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Well, seeing them see them beat it down.
SPEAKER_10:All my mates would all my mates could tell you a story about when they've seen my mum give me a bat. Do you know what I mean? They could all they could all tell you. But my mum came bursting through and big up Michael actually because he's the only one who stayed. But I was on a Whitey. So I spewed him. I must have had, I don't know, I must have smoked a joint or whatever. And I'd beans on toast. I don't know who we thought. I honestly don't know who we thought we were. We're all just getting high. I'm having beans on toast in the middle of a school day. Like yeah, broad daylight. People are just smoking joints. Someone's probably doing a shoddy. And I'd yeah, did a whitey. I remember I whited in my sink. Then you just hear a boom.
SPEAKER_09:Chedu, who's been smoking in my house? Oh my friends are burst out the back. Honestly, it's like a bunch of ants just ordered scurrying out the house through the back garden, everything. But I'm just I can't run.
SPEAKER_10:Because I'm just and my mate Marco stayed with me. And he's like helping me plunge the beans down the sink and everything. You know what proper, proper good friends we fed? He took all the stick. My mum's like waving her fingers, going, mad, Marco, I'm gonna ring your mum and all that stuff. And they say he's mad. And that was the last day I ever smoked it. Because I was like, you know what? I'm not because of the repercussions of my mum, but I was like, I don't know, I must have thought I was gonna be a footballer. I was like, oh, I'm not doing it no more, I'm gonna concentrate on my fitness, blah, blah, blah. So I can't really speak about weeback, I speak about drink. Yeah, yeah. Talk to me about that. So drink, you know, drinking culture, innit? Yeah, yeah. The British drinking culture. I've been drinking. Especially growing up on councillor state. Councillor State, mate. As you know, growing up on a council state, the Friday night, going to the local off licence, bottle of frosty jacks, waiting outside shop for someone to go in for you. Mate, go in shop. A little bottle of vodka. Yeah. Drinking on the streets from young, straight vodka, frosty jacks, like you said, like 2020, all them horrible, honking drinks that you're just doing just to get absolutely sloshed. Best team, best times of your life, though, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a strange way, yes.
SPEAKER_07:No feeling, you're probably getting off with girls and doing whatever you're doing. You really is that I call that I mean, it really is that experimental phase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're pushing the boundaries in a way you've at that point in your life you've never pushed them before. And there's a rush. There's an adrenaline.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, life comes with that. Life's good. And then obviously you start going around town. Pants, pubs. Then I went uni, mate. Like I I I did uni properly.
SPEAKER_07:It's a big part of the I mean, even we talk about this as as you know, in terms of health awareness campaigns, but just just the the the two words, freshers week, don't need to say any more than that. You know exactly it's almost like the American equivalent of spring break. That freshers week is right, let's get it.
SPEAKER_10:I couldn't believe I couldn't believe it. When I first went uni and did Freshers Week week, obviously, like I say, drink's not new to me. But drinking like that was mad. Yeah. Because obviously I'm playing games like Ring of Fire and stuff. It's mad. Like it's it's and then I'm drinking, I play for the football team. Obviously, the the older lads, the year threes, they're getting all the freshers absolutely hammered. I'm doing like football initiations. Well, I'm not. Initiation. Like, literally, my initiation was mad. I'm running around the campus in a thong. Mad. Imagine. Well, you don't want to people, you don't want to imagine that. Do you know what I mean? Like it was it was that's what I mean. So, and then you when you get from year two, you get to get your own back on the freshers, and then year three of the top people. But yeah, drank all the way through uni. Obviously being on loads of lads' holidays, been on stagdos, drinks just part of the culture. You drink every every every weekend, probably Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I probably did Friday, Saturday, Sunday for Monday was student nights at one point as well. I remember at uni, mate. I used to go out on we used to go out on a Monday after football training. We didn't go out on a Tuesday because Wednesday was the football game. Go out on the Wednesday, Wednesday was obviously the main night, get absolutely trolley. Sometimes go out on a on a Thursday, depending how we're feeling. Friday and Saturday, uni. That was that was the life at uni for three years, basically. And then obviously I've come back to hull, still love the drink. And then it starts catching up on you. Yeah. Because these times there, you don't really get hangovers. Mate, I can't I can't believe I used to be able to drink all that and not get hangovers. Now, in my old age, a hangover can sometimes last me two or three days. So it's not worth it. And like I said to you earlier, I'm quite into my gym. And when I drink sometimes, it's when it spills into my week, that's my routine messed up. Creativity goes out the window. I'm feeling real foggy. Like I've just come back from Dubai. Not just come back, but we went in November. Mate, it ruined me. I was dr I drank, we drank for about five days in a row. It's all good at the time. Come back to all my stomachs in pieces, mate. It's in pieces, and I've got things to do. Do you know what I mean? I had to go on a re uh a residential in Manchester, I was sitting on a panel also in Manchester. Like I've got to get on with business. And this is this is this is dribbling into my business now. It's affecting me getting money because of get because I'm getting pissed and I still think I'm 18.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, it's the realisation that you're not 18 and you're gonna be able to do it. Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_10:So it's just like I do think eventually I will be sober. I think 10 more years and I'm out of the game. I think that.
SPEAKER_07:I say this, yeah. I'm not I'm not so I I don't consider myself sober, but I don't consider myself a drinker either. And my turning point was once he had my daughter. Yeah. Like you were just saying, then we work. I can't. Yeah, you can't be all over and have your daughter, yeah. No, I d it's not even that I can't, wouldn't be able to look after it. It's just trying to get through those days with a toddler or with, you know, a a baby at the time as well, whilst you're feeling hungover. It's just it wasn't worth it. So now, like I again, I don't say I'm sober because I I I do drink when the opportunity comes up. But like I went out with the lads recently, and I think I had about three pants, got myself to that merry point, I was like, I'm done now, because anymore, and I will be hungover. And it's just worth it.
SPEAKER_10:Big big up you for that though. That's where I lack. Yeah, I've never been one of those, you know, when you get certain men who are like, oh, just go for a couple of pants, yeah. Then they know when to stop and go home. Mate, I or when they saw you fancy a swift one just a quick pant and then they'll go home. Mate, if I'm drinking, you're drinking, I'm drinking and I mix my drinks. Like I say, I still I still drink like I'm an 18-year-old. Someone mentions Jaegers, yeah, man, why not? I'll have one. Then one turns into 10. It's nothing worse than me now seeing the Jaeger ones come out.
SPEAKER_07:I'm like, nah, nah, I'm partaking in that.
SPEAKER_10:So it's and you it I know that I'm getting old now, or maybe getting more mature, because I'm actually dreading the hangover before the night out's even happened. Yeah, I couldn't. I come home and I have like a pan of water before bed, though, just to make sure that that level of responsibility before it was I never had to. Yeah, like it's mad. I could be going out on the Saturday, but on the on the Thursday before the Saturday, I'm dreading what I'm gonna feel like on the Sunday. Yeah. So and and and that's not a good way of thinking. No, no. So yeah, I'm thinking that I and all the artists that I look up to, a lot of them are sober.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, because a lot of them obviously have had especially, you know. I suppose it's it is a cultural thing within the within the music industry in some way, or the pressures of being famous. How many of them have had to use substances to cope, whether that be to pick themselves up or maybe it's to calm themselves down? I don't know. And it goes, yeah, it just goes so far and so far. Now, like, I mean, some you know, I mean, we mentioned Eminem earlier, but you know, his his recovery album, yeah, everything there. He's someone who's gone through the highest highs and the lowest lows, and it's a big part of his identity now with sobriety, and there's so many artists like him.
SPEAKER_10:Like my sister, I admire her so much because my sister obviously she went uni, she probably had a good time, but she's someone who can go out and not drink. And I've done it a few times, but I need to get in that comfortability where maybe I can do it more, yeah. And and I'm at stage now as well, also, is being able just to say no. I've got a lot better at just saying no. Yeah, I drank a lot last year, I'll be honest with you. This year, I haven't drunk nowhere as much because of these reasons of it of it filtering into my weeks and making me feel it makes you feel depressed.
SPEAKER_07:Do you know what I love about this as well? Like for me, it's similar to some of the two there, but feeling more comfortable in saying no, but the one thing I like as I've got older, when I used to say no before, it was either no with an excuse or a reason, yeah, and then a bit of an argument with a mate about like my reasons why and them saying oh go and have a cup of yeah, you don't get it to see it older. It's like you're having a drink, no, alright. And no I'm about to do it.
SPEAKER_10:It's because we're getting older now, we know ourselves now.
SPEAKER_07:But when you was younger, it's like, oh, don't be boring, yeah. I don't get it, but I mean that's I mean I've I'm 34 now, I don't might just be my circle, but I don't get any of that. I don't get any of that pressure to go on, just have a couple, just have just happen anymore.
SPEAKER_10:You just we just know ourselves now.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:We know we know how it makes our bodies feel. And yeah, I'm not. I always do dry jam.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Always do I've done dry jam for the last like five or six years, probably even longer. Because my body just needs that reset. I always give up stuff for Lent. I've got a real bad sweet tooth I have. So that normally goes at Lent. But I I know I can do this stuff. I know I could. So I know I probab I know I could give up alcohol. If you wanted to. If I wanted to, yeah, I do. Because I've done things like I fast every day. So like I know I can give up things, do you know what I mean? It's just fit it's probably just getting used to that.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, yeah. You speak a lot about obviously the living on the council estate, that council estate confidence, the great humour, the survival instinct that we have on them. What do people often misunderstand about a state culture? And I guess really what I want to explore is how has that environment both challenged you and equipped you for stages like Glastonbury, and then of course, like performing recently with Coldplay.
SPEAKER_10:Growing up on North Estate has been the best schooling experience ever for me. If you could I I always say there's there's nothing more difficult than growing growing up on North Estate in the 90s when you're dealing with all sorts of different types of characters and people who don't really understand you or sometimes even respect you, and you have to get their respect and you have to make them understand you. And that's sometimes what the industry is like. Because people didn't understand me in the industry when I first came out. People didn't even understand me in the whole scene, they didn't understand how can a rapper be rapping in a whole accent? They thought it was weird. Whole people thought it was weird that someone was rapping in a whole accent because they were so used to listening to people with London accents and American accents. I think the misunderstanding of council of state culture is everyone's just a bum. Yeah. Everyone's a bum, everyone's a tramp, everyone's a freeloader. Yeah. No one works, they're not good people. That's a lie. That's a lie. I I know some some very rich people and they're scumbags, and I know people with no money, and they're the greatest people ever, and they would give you they'd give you the last quid. And that's people on council estates. There's a big community feeling on a council estate. I love Northall Estate. It's been the making of me. It I wasn't always positive in the sense of my influences and the experiences that I went through, but I'm happy that I went through the things that I went through. I'm happy that I I I struggled at first. There was a lot of racism. I'm happy about it because it's built me, it's made me, it's made me develop a thick skin, which has prepared me for the music industry, because you need to have a thick skin to be in the music industry. I've gone from no one loving, respecting, caring about me to being absolutely loaded on my council estate. I've had a full circle experience, which is mad. Even I used to have beef with people on my council estate when I when I'm when I'm telling you about when I told you about when I I hung around with this gang. This gang of mine had beef with people on my estate. And these the it's all love now.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:All reconciliation. We're all old now. Do you know what I mean? But these are the type of scenarios and and and and and the full circleness of my experience on Norfolk. Like I say, I've gone from being probably not very liked to being absolutely loved because people understand my message, people understand that I carry this council estate on my back. Do you know what I mean? Orchard Park, North Full, it's it's known for being real rough, and like I say, not good people are on there, but I'm trying to tell people that there is good people on there, and the people that are from that council of state, my council estate, I'm trying to tell these people and educate these people to not feed into the stereotype. That's what I mean by council of state confidence. Because I want the people on my estate to realise that your superstars, you're special, just because you might have been dealt tough cards, just because you might be used to the prison service and drugs and stuff like that. Don't let them cards determine the way you're going to live your life. Don't let perception determine. Realize that you're a natural storyteller, you're a natural survivor, you've got life skills, you've had to grow quicker than everyone else. Use that positively. That's what Council of State confidence is. Because sometimes we are dealt harsh cards, we don't have the most money. Access to certain things are available to us, but we've got certain skills that are better than most people because we're natural survivors. We know how to, we know how to we know how to get by when the chips are down. So use that positively and turn that into something positive.
SPEAKER_07:You've got to be resourceful, ain't you? I think I think about this, you know, coming from coming from fuck all, you know what it's like to live with fuck all. You know what it's like to survive on fuck all. Nothing.
SPEAKER_10:Do you know what I mean? And and pressing the emergency button on the on the on the gas and electric meter. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Everyone's been there. It's it's it's not the greatest times, but you know what? Let's not feel sorry for ourselves. Actually use that. Use that as like uh as fire in your belly to want more. That's how I see it.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:And you and you've done that. Obviously, you've you've supported you've supported co-play. Yeah. You've played Glastonbury, you've you've taught America, your message always comes back to Hull, back to Council of States, and for young people who feel overlooked. What responsibility do you feel now as Hull's most well-known musician? And what do you want the next generation in Hull to believe about themselves that you didn't always believe about yourself? You've touched on that a little bit already, but I think explore a bit.
SPEAKER_10:I feel like for me, I want the next gen to be better than me. Yeah. You don't have to go through all the trials and tribulations that I did. Look at my story, learn from what Che Doo did. And when Chaidu passes the ladder down, be ready to climb it. I feel it is my responsibility. I take my responsibility very seriously in the sense that I know there's a lot of young kids looking at me. And I want to be the guy that passes the ladder down. I don't ma I'm not shying away from that. I've always been a leader. You could say I'm a community leader now. I did a music video the other day called Story of a Pauper, and I brought all the young kids out from my street because I wanted them to experience what it's like to be in front of a camera and feel good. Because these young kids don't always get that opportunity. When do they get the access? When do they get the access to be around a man who supported Coplay, a man who's played Glastonbury, a man who supported Skepta in America? Do you know what I mean? They don't get that access. And it's important to me to stay humble as well. Because I'm still just Cado from 21st Avenue. Like people always say, Oh, why you why are you still around here? Like what are you doing? Like blah, blah, blah. I'm still round here because this is who I am. I can't it's just it's just who I am. I represent Hull to the fullest. I want people to see Hull in a good light. Do you know what I mean? Like I know Hull's got its got its problems, but the only way we're gonna sort out these problems is having people, I suppose, with my mindset. Because you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it. And I'm proof of that.
SPEAKER_07:I was gonna say you're proof of the market.
SPEAKER_10:If I can do that, if I can support the biggest band in the world, any of these young kids can do it, and that's what I'm trying to promote in this message. I'm not an alien. I've just grafted my backside off and not took no for an answer. I got ridiculed and laughed at for being a rapper in a scene full of indie bands. A lot of these promoters and a lot of these people now, like, they were the same, the same people who slammed the door in my face. But I always believed in myself. And sometimes I don't know where I got the self-belief from. I think it's because of my mum. My mum's an extremely confident woman, and my sister's quite confident as well. And we're Nigerian as well. Nigerians are very confident. But I know I'll get to where I want to be in the end. This ain't my final destination. I'm gonna be kicking down doors forever and being undeniable, just so it's easier for the next generation to come through them same doors.
SPEAKER_07:Like you said earlier, I love the fact that you don't even feel that you've hit your prime yet.
SPEAKER_10:No way. No, no, not a chance. Like people think, oh, you've made it, you've supported Coplay. I haven't made nothing. This is just the beginning. I always think it's just the beginning. I'm so privileged and lucky that every year since I've made music that it's progressed. I thank God every single day. Because really, I don't know how it's happened. I'm just a kid off Northall Estate who had a dream who's got who's got a dream who's gonna carry on living out his dream. But I'm nowhere near where I want to be, not a chance. Like I'm I'm so scared about being complacent. Yeah, it's a not a good place to be. I'm so scared of it. I'm so scared.
SPEAKER_06:And it's so easy to be complacent.
SPEAKER_10:Yes, do you know how many people do you know how many people will be strutting around the town because of supported copla? I mean, I didn't even leave my house for like a couple of days after copla, because it was just too much. Yeah. All the attention, all the social media, all the blah blah blah. I couldn't, I couldn't handle it. Not that I couldn't handle it, I could handle it. I know what you mean. Because part of the. But for me, I just wanted to, because I'm someone, this is something I do need to get better at. And never really give myself a pat on the back. I remember when I came off stage at Glastonbury, I was angry. Why? Because I was like, it's over. All that fuss and hype for that. Because obviously the build the build up was like a good six months. You're doing all the press, you're getting played on radio all the time. Local media, national media's covering you. I'm on national news, I was on like BBC News, like all this buzz, all the good luck messages, then 30 minutes, it's over. But they call that gold medal depression.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:When you reach, then boom, you're back. Happened to me when I went to America. I was the happiest I've ever been when I was in America for them eight days, supporting my favourite UK artist, Skepta. I'm in Austin, Texas with my boys. It's like a it's a it's like it just don't feel it don't feel real. We're not walking down Prunyav. Yeah we're walking in Austin, Texas, doing what we love. When I came back, I was depressed. I was depressed for a I didn't leave again, I didn't leave my house for about four or five days. My mate said, Oh come on, let's go Nando's and we went and I was telling him about it. And one of my good friends said, he said, what did he say? He said, You're not I don't think no, because I was calling it holiday blues, and he was saying it's not holiday blues, it's the fact that you're now living your dreams, you're now living the dreams now, and now you've hit that moment, you want to be there all the time, just remember all that felt, but of course when I achieved something, I still went back to being moody. Coldplay was the only time for a long time when I actually lived in the moment because them two days were probably the two best days of my life, and after it, I lived in the moment. I was like, wow, you've come far. Where before I've never thought like that. I've never thought, oh, I've come so far. But that moment, yeah, I was like, it comes so far, but then I'm over it now. I'm like, what's next?
SPEAKER_07:What's next? And sometimes that can be a problem.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, and then it's but it also helps me keep my feet firmly on the ground because I'm not like I'm not one being complacent and I'm not thinking I'm too good. Like people can't fathom that I supported Coplay. People are like, what like people still now are like, I can't believe you've you were on the stage with Chris Martin and you was rapping with him. Like, do you know how sick that is? And I I and I don't want to sound ungrateful. It was probably, like I said, two of the best days of my life. But I want more.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:I'm greedy now.
SPEAKER_07:Well, that's I'm greedy. Do you know? Well, I think as a as a as a as a creative, as an artist, you you have to be hungry. You have to be. I think the second, like you say, you start feeling, you know, for lack of a better word, full. Yeah, the complacence is going to be there. Yeah. It's what's the what's next? And I do think looking at the looking at the colorplay tour, I do love that the fact that they did choose a local artist because some bands kind of have a tour in support act with them as well. Which is great for that artist to get the idea, kind of what the experience you had, you know, with Skepta. I've the feeling they've been on tour if they've never experienced that before. But I loved that. When I heard there was picking a local artist, I was like, that's that's that's class that.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, like that's really there's not a day when I don't think thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's not a day when I'm because I'm quite religious. Wake up every morning and I pray. And there's not a day when I'm just like, thank you, God, for me being able to do this as a career. Like I'm I'm living my dreams already because I get to do this as a career. Do you know how lucky I am that I've been able to be a full-time musician since 2018? When I was a teacher before that. So I'm like, this is wild, and I'm from Hull, and I do rap music. I'm not in a band, I'm not an acoustic singer. This is a black man from Northall Estate doing music full-time, and he's been doing it since 2018. Do you know how lucky I am? And don't get me wrong, there's days where it's a struggle where I don't know when the next money's coming in, and it's difficult and there's nowhere coming in. But again, council of state confidence, yeah. Being adaptable, life skills, not worrying too much, finding a way, making a way. That's it, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Trade, I'd like to finish all of my podcasts with a series of quick fire questions. And honestly, to be fair, I could uh I could talk to you probably a lot more over a lot longer. I hope I don't bored you to death. Absolutely no, absolutely not. My first question is what is your favourite word? Undeniable. Least favourite word. Can't. What sound or noise do you love?
SPEAKER_10:Like it happens a lot in like rap rabes or grime rabes. Someone imitating a gunshot. Like I love that sound.
SPEAKER_05:What sound or noise do you hear?
SPEAKER_10:Police sirens.
SPEAKER_05:Tell me something that excites you.
SPEAKER_10:The future.
SPEAKER_05:Tell me something that doesn't excite you.
SPEAKER_10:Being complacent.
SPEAKER_05:Dream job. Ooh.
SPEAKER_10:Well, rapper.
SPEAKER_07:Tell you what, if you weren't a view, if you weren't a rapper. If you weren't a rapper, if you weren't a musician, if you could do any other job, what would it be?
SPEAKER_10:It'd be Louis Faroux. What he does. Yeah, I could do that. That's what I want to do. I actually want to like move into documentary. Yeah, like I wanna like I want to do what you're doing. Like I want to interview real high-profile people who you would never expect a rapper to do.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:That'd be an interesting to see.
SPEAKER_10:Mate, that's what I wanna that's what I want to do. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Worst job you can imagine doing.
SPEAKER_10:Policeman.
SPEAKER_07:And what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearlie Gates?
SPEAKER_10:You reached your full potential.
SPEAKER_05:Wonderful, Chido. Well, thank you so much for joining me on Believe in People.
SPEAKER_07:Was that all? I loved it. And if you've enjoyed this episode of the Believe in People Podcast, we'd love for you to share it with others who might find it meaningful. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode. The leaving a review will help us reach more people and continue challenging stigma around addiction and recovery. For additional resources, insights and updates, explore the links in this episode description. And to learn more about our mission and hear more incredible stories, you can visit us directly at believingpeoplepodcast.com.
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