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Believe in People: Addiction, Recovery & Stigma
2024 British Podcast Award Winner & Radio Academy Award Nominated Podcast
Believe in People explores addiction, recovery and stigma with different people.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction then this podcast can help.
Believe in People: Addiction, Recovery & Stigma
#63 - Daniel Ramson: Talk2BigDan, Addiction Accountability, Pervert Powder, Drug-Induced Psychosis, The Power of Discipline, Personal Responsibility & Why Rehab Isn’t His Answer
In this controversial and unfiltered episode of Believe in People, Matt sits down with Daniel Ramson - better known as TalkToBigDan to explore his unconventional approach to recovery.
Unlike traditional services, Dan skips waiting lists, therapy rooms, and medical interventions. Instead, he delivers straight-talking and tough-love coaching rooted in his own lived experience.
From partying with rock stars and being sectioned to becoming one of Europe’s most sought-after addiction coaches, Dan shares his raw and deeply personal journey. He challenges the notion that addiction is a disease, arguing instead that it’s a choice requiring discipline, accountability, and structure. His no-nonsense philosophy has helped countless people turn their lives around, and in this episode, he doesn’t hold back.
Expect candid conversations about drug-induced psychosis, the impact of addiction on families, and the hard truths of recovery. Whether you agree with Dan’s approach or not, this episode will challenge your perspective and spark important discussions about what truly works in recovery.
Click here to text our host, Matt, directly!
Believe in People explores addiction, recovery and stigma.
For our full back catalogue you can visit our website ⬇️
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If you or someone you know is struggling then this series can help.
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We'd like to extend our heartfelt thanks to Christopher Tait of the band Belle Ghoul & Electric Six for allowing us to use the track Jonathan Tortoise. Thank you, Chris, for being a part of this journey with us.
This is a Renew original recording. Hello and welcome to Believe in People, a podcast where we have open, honest and sometimes challenging conversations about addiction recovery and breaking the stigma that surrounds them. At Renew, we follow NICE guidelines, which are evidence-based recommendations for health and care in England and Wales. They help professionals like us prevent ill health, promote good health and improve the quality and care of services. That means that our approach to drug and alcohol recovery is structured, research-backed and focused on long-term solutions. But today's guest, he, sometimes takes a very different approach.
Speaker 1:Our guest, daniel Ramson, better known as TalkToBigDan, doesn't do referrals, waiting lists or therapy rooms. Instead, he offers straight-talking, tough-love, one-on-one coaching based on his own real-life experiences of addiction recovery and rebuilding his life. Dan's insight on addiction is based on his personal journey. He believes that addiction is not a disease but a choice that requires accountability, and that discipline and structure are key, with focused approach on action. This conversation is raw, unfiltered and deeply personal. Dan shares his journey from partying with rock stars and getting sectioned to becoming one of the most sought-after addiction coaches in Europe.
Speaker 1:On this podcast, we respect all lived experiences and believe in giving people a platform to share their story. While Dan's approach differs from the guidelines. We recognise that recovery is personal and different things work for different people. Whether you agree, disagree or simply want to hear another perspective, this episode offers valuable insights into one man's journey of transformation. I kicked off my conversation with Dan by asking what key moments made him decide that enough was enough and how he managed to break free from the party lifestyle and turn his life around despite facing such overwhelming challenges.
Speaker 2:I've never had a line of cocaine sober.
Speaker 1:No, never Do you have to be under the influence of alcohol. I went to. I remember watching Berry vs Rochdale.
Speaker 2:I've been really good Berry vs Rochdale. And they said you better go to. You better go to doctors and get some tablets and stop drinking. So I went fuck sake, I will do. Yeah, go on. And I thought I've got Berry vs Rochdale local team. You know big downs coming yeah fucking anyway.
Speaker 2:So I went to the doctors, got some tablets and stopped drinking and I ended up having some coke. Fuck me, I was ill. Yeah, oh, fucking. I'll never do that. Anyone who's watching this never ever get them tablets for drinking and have coke in. I had the worst anxiety. I was fucking stood in the garden for six, the anxiety ridden Really I would think why have I done that? But I had to have something, yeah.
Speaker 1:I had to get something and I was on these tablets and I had to get a bit more.
Speaker 2:Everyone does it. To get a bit more, yeah, and that was me.
Speaker 1:Well, that was it. I think that's it with cocaine as well, because you have the threshold, don't you? I think, like right now, or cocaine?
Speaker 2:You'd be out for a week.
Speaker 1:Exactly, do you know what I mean? But it gets to the point where you have to start taking a ridiculous amount just to get what you used to get with such a small amount Six, seven weeks.
Speaker 2:Seven weeks. I remember you used to run bandages. You used to come in. I couldn't even see my lad used to come in and you couldn't see. I couldn't even read. I was fucking. I had some. You know when I'm binging. I shouldn't be sat here. Daniel John Ramson shouldn't be sat here now. I should be like a picture or a plaque in a graveyard. Yeah, yeah, I've just pray to his, his place, where he's actually at. I played about 3-4 times. Bring me luck.
Speaker 2:Never pray for money never pray for wealth just say bring me luck, keep me well, keep me healthy, you know. And he killed himself, I remember me and my dad found him kicked door and he found him killed himself, overdosed. Best man you'll ever meet in addiction.
Speaker 1:How does that impact you seeing someone that you look up to and then finding them in that way.
Speaker 2:You know what? He was a good man, you know. You know why he was a good man. I don't laugh, but it's funny Because he borrowed about 1,500 quid off of me before he killed himself, right, and he'd come back and give me my money. He said I see you number one, because my dad's got 20 kids, 15 kids, 17 kids, so he used to call me number one he said I'll see you later number one.
Speaker 2:I said see you later, uncle Paul, and he killed himself. But he come and give me that money back. So I go, I go to his grave and I pray. I say, give me some luck, come on you know, I've got a blood test coming up. Give me some fucking luck come on, come on.
Speaker 1:You know what? I mean give me you know, are you a spiritual person in that way, then your life's planned your life's planned.
Speaker 2:There's nothing sure oh fucking nothing my life's planned.
Speaker 1:I was planned to do everything I've done there's nothing sure big believer in like fate and how that works everything.
Speaker 2:I believe I was supposed to meet you. I was supposed to meet, you know, my wife meet up with them. Three kids supposed to your life's planned to meet what you do. That's it, my life's completely planned. I put it what I say to people. Well, just put yourself, you know, like a boat in a big lake, yeah, and let the wind blow it, you know, let the wind, blow it, and wherever that little dinghy goes, that's my life, my life's just planned to go where it goes.
Speaker 2:So if I die tomorrow, I'm planned to meet whoever I meet. So me nearly dying, me being a lunatic as a kid, me making a good name of myself yeah, all them things are planned so I don't I don't worry about it.
Speaker 2:I don't change it. I don't worry about the past. I don't worry about the things. I don't worry about not being the best daddy in the world, because I wasn't. I'd been the best husband. I was a fucking Horrendous husband. Horrendous, but I don't regret it because my life plan now. You know my life. I got sober at 40. My life started at 40. I had 40 years of lunacy Fucking, to be honest, from when I was born to 40 years old fucking complete lunacy. You know what I mean. I call it career.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I thought I'd hear career.
Speaker 2:So now I got sober at 40. My life started at new life, my normal life. Yeah, because all going back, I never did anything wrong sober.
Speaker 1:Do you know when I was sober? I?
Speaker 2:got cocaine. I never did anything wrong. Is that stuff that drink cocaine used to fucking do something to me? It's like no, stopping me, but that's what?
Speaker 1:yeah, but your life's planned what was the moment then that where you obviously getting sober 40, to have that many years of substance misuse, that party lifestyle, as you said? What was the moment that made you think, right, I need to stop now.
Speaker 2:Then, Well, when I nearly died, I was hospital three times. When I nearly died, I was just carried on drinking, you know that was from death, you know that was minutes, days, whatever it was. I'm quite still drinking. My lad was 16. He's 16 on Sunday. Hmm, so he's 18 on Sunday, so he's 16. And I said I'll be sober for his 16th birthday, yeah.
Speaker 1:And he'd come up.
Speaker 2:He'd come up just before his birthday, the 19th. Yeah, on the 17th, yeah, 17th. So on the 19th, when he came up and see me on his birthday, I was sober, yeah, that's why I did it for his 16th birthday yeah, so so two years today, I'm sober. I don't call it sober, I don't.
Speaker 1:I'm normal, I don't use.
Speaker 2:I'm not. I'm not celebrating. I'm not here celebrating. Oh, look at me I. I don't use that word.
Speaker 1:I don't use the word sober.
Speaker 2:I'm just a normal human being. I don't wake up looking for a drink. I don't wake up in the morning being sick. Yeah, I don't wake up thinking where the fuck have I been? Why am I in this bed? You know what have I done last night. You know I don't wake up yearning for beer. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:To realise that now, then at 42, that you don't have to wake up feeling like that. What took you so long to get to that point? I know you said you've done it for your son, but to be using substances, from starting cocaine at 18, being normal by?
Speaker 2:40.
Speaker 1:Normal, normal, you mean. Yeah, but 22 years of it. Why did it take so long, do you think? Because I didn't want to stop.
Speaker 2:No, did I. When it's your time to stop, stop, like I say, my life is planned. Yeah, my life is planned. So, really, yeah, if I, unless I, would have died. This is why I help so many people, right, because if I would have had someone strong behind me, I might have stopped earlier. I didn't have anybody because I was the strong man.
Speaker 1:I was always the blow. You could tell me what to do.
Speaker 2:yeah, I used to have my ex-wife crying oh, please don't put us through this. I had kids crying. I didn't give a fuck because I didn't want to just change yeah. And so now, when I help these people, that's why I help somebody, because they want somebody strong and they go. What are the AIs of these people, danny? We've tried everything. Me saying you're fucking not drinking today, put yourself together.
Speaker 1:You were funny call it fucking.
Speaker 2:Stop it. I wouldn't. I might stop drinking, but I didn't have anybody. But all this, like everything's gonna be all right, shit. Yeah, you know, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:You know, have you because obviously, yeah, and I get that to the fact that you are. I mean, how tall are you? Six, six, six, foot six. You know I don't think people are gonna yeah, but there's something about that, just being a man like oh he'll sort himself out. He'll sort his own shit out, do you know?
Speaker 2:yeah, but it's knowledge, it's knowledge, you know. I look back at my knowledge and think why I could have stopped. I did stop, yeah, but why? Do you know why I slipped back into it? Because I could, because it's just weakness, weakness, I get away. I get away with it. Drinking is about getting away with it. Yeah, you know, I mean, you're missing the ex-wife, you, you, you stop drinking. How we're finished? Yeah, but as soon as you got into a bug, I started again.
Speaker 2:You can come back home with your kids. Yeah, you can go on holiday. I'll go on holiday with you. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, that was you know, that's what I did, but then as soon as you get a weakness, you're off. I had a rent it's horrendous four years. I don't regret.
Speaker 1:I don't regret a thing because I don't, I don't think I regret is when I.
Speaker 2:I got sent home from Florida and I got sectioned oh, okay, that's what I get tell me about that.
Speaker 2:Then what happened there? Oh, fucking hell, that's a fucking story. Well, I booked a holiday to go to Florida with my wife and kids and my mum to Flew to Florida Fucking. Well, the night before I went Bought a bag of cocaine. No, no, on the way to the airport I bought a bag of cocaine. So I thought I'd be a bit happier yeah, a bit happier Fucking cocaine In the airport, not in the airport. Hotel Er Stayed overnight. My lad caught me in the morning Drinking a bottle of wine At four o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 2:In the hotel bar I meet the lad meet lad fucking you know. And the next thing, that was it. I went to Florida. Drinking wife stood up on the plane, went don't serve him, he's an alcoholic. Fucking. Went there, crashed out of your car. Second day sober I was as well, fucking sober crashed my car into another car. Police were looking for me. I tried and next thing met this bloke. Went to get some cocaine. End up in the got some of the cocaine. Next thing I'm fucking off me. I don't know where it was, swimming with crocodiles, police looking for me Fucking. Next thing I don't know if I got knocked out or someone fell over. Got a cut on my eye in hospital. This is on a family holiday.
Speaker 2:Four days in yeah, Cost me a lot of money, family, perfect holiday In hospital, under 20, not Angar. But they took me in police, took me in, didn't know what happened to me, kept me in hospital for 24 hours. Come out. My mum says you have to go home. You have to go home. So, fuck's sake, right. So dropped me off at the airport, sent me home Jet lag. Got on.
Speaker 2:The call came when I come home got fucking psychosis. Fucking running up rivers. I was up with a foot and my mate caught me hiding under his car 4-4, street. Fucking. That lay there, he's under his car. I was off my head. Next thing I went to my mate's house my best pals. He rang the police on me. He said you better come and get him because he's fucking not right. So police come looking for me, went home. I said why? Oh, we're just wondering. So I'm going to the lay districts. I was off my head. It's psychosis, you know. I was fucking off my head. And where are you at? And next thing, fucking police chasing me around me, running after me up Brangley Road. You know what? They couldn't catch me. They knew me anyway. So I went back and they sectioned me for a week, you know, took me into Fairfield Hospital put me in a room I wasn't right.
Speaker 1:I wasn't right.
Speaker 2:I wasn't right, I was proper, I could see things. I was fucking I wasn't right, locked me up there for a week. Anyway, I went to this place in Stockport. I stopped after two days. I went right, I went okay. You know what I mean and it's funny because I tell this story before. And these people the ambulance driver, you know who pick you up, these people who work with psychiatric units yeah, yeah, yeah, he picked me up. This bloke sent me a message. The bloke who picked me up from Fairfield. He said sure you like it, they're like ambulance security people. Picked me up from Fairfield, took me to Stockport.
Speaker 1:And doing a park or whatever.
Speaker 2:And he said I hired the bloke who took you. So he said well done, danny. What have you done? So he got in touch anyway. He took me to this place in Stockport fucking lunatic asylum mental institution, whatever it fucking is. It is what it is. Yeah, I was there locked up seven days.
Speaker 2:After two days my psychosis went yeah, perfect, like this, talking like this so Two days before I was seeing things fucking run up rivers with my underpants on, fucking in and under cars, police after me fucking seeing people in loft, you know, fucking running up the street. I've got camera footage of it. Police coming at me with a taser. I had a samurai sword in my hand in front of the door. Police with a taser were going to taser me. Didn't arrest me. They didn't arrest me. They let me go Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Then I got. Then I got. So then the ambulance got pulled, took, brought because they went to section me. Took to Fairfield Hospital, put me in a bed. They got mixed up. So when they put me in bed they started sectioning me for the first time. They got mixed up so they put my drip out, legged it from the hospital, went on the run. So that's why the police were looking for me. So the next time when they come to the pub they come looking for me and then they section me for seven days. Rang up me and my wife. I said after two days I was okay. Rang up the wife ex-wife in America he's alright now. No, keep him, fuck that, keep him, don't let him. I said tell them to let me out. Love, you're not fucking getting out there, fuck off.
Speaker 2:She kept ringing her every day. Fuck's sake, man, let me out. Fuck you, man, let me ring your wife again.
Speaker 1:No, keep the bastard.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, fuck you.
Speaker 1:So what's that like? Because I think there's obviously a bit of a view of the idea of when someone gets sectioned and sort of. I was in the back.
Speaker 2:But the rest of they got me, uh, they got me my granddad and uh they come an ambulance in the van and uh they put me in the back of a van, uh, normally they arrested in mid-home.
Speaker 2:That's when the police come to it pub and the chase road they put out four vans, come and put me. They put me in the van and there's a woman sat there like like me, you know know, there's like a cage. She sat there with me like that, yeah, and I was just talking to her, like I was like talking to her and she's watching, and they put me in this room and like they were watching me in this room. What can I remember? I find it funny. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1:I tell my story.
Speaker 2:I don't give a fuck, you know if I didn't recover and I wouldn't be such a person. You're shamed a lot of people.
Speaker 1:Don't tell you.
Speaker 2:I'm not shamed, it is what it is. It's just another fucking story in my book, another part of my book. So anyway, they're there with big glass, you know, glass mirrors and watching me and all that stuff, and I fucking sat there half yet and the next thing that's it. They did this, whatever you call it, and they're sexing me and they sent me to.
Speaker 2:Alright, people are good, everyone's alright. It was alright, give all my clothes away and everything, but kept something in my ex-wife. He's alright now would you come in? No, keep him and I come out of there. Though that was the embarrassment, you know, for me kids. Yeah, picking my daughter from school and all that do you mean?
Speaker 1:my wife fucked me off she fucked me off for a bit for a bit, yeah, and then you come back.
Speaker 2:I was all right then for a bit and then, yeah, she fucked me off and it was embarrassing. You know, if your dad gets sectioned, it's fucking embarrassing. People don't talk about this. I've said it before. People say, well, you're well done talking about it. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1:I don't talk about it.
Speaker 2:I've got nothing to hide. So yeah, but if anybody's watching, don't try and not get a section If anybody's watching.
Speaker 1:Don't try not to get a section. It's not the best fucking look. Talking about the impact of mental health and addiction, because the two are so deeply intertwined. What is the most significant challenges that people face in addressing both simultaneously? So for yourself, you said you were in there for two days and suddenly you felt fine. So a lot of your mental health and these episodes of drug induced psychosis is because of the drug use, isn't it?
Speaker 2:I've had it before where you're seeing things and hearing things, but it was just steady, steady. If you play with your mind, you take these drugs. You're drugs, lack of sleep fuck you up. And I talk to loads of people and all my mates they still do it, still at it and they're all having it, and they, we all know the old sketches, don't we?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Switching curtains and that's just that was. But then it goes to a different stage yeah, your different stages. When you're looking at loss, you're doing this and you're looking at, you know that's a different stage and all that, so that goes into it, but you know what? Some people don't come back for it.
Speaker 1:Are you aware at the time that it is the substances that's causing the parano, or do you think these are almost two separate things? Every time I was.
Speaker 2:I believed everything I'd seen. I believed everything I'd seen. And if I've seen it and people say, what's it like fucking? It's just like real things. You know, ai, yeah it's just AI. I've never seen what it is, but that's it it was like you couldn't that's why they section you.
Speaker 1:You can't differentiate. Yeah, that's what They've done the job. You're not fucking right yet at the moment You're going in here because you don't know what you're going to do. Obviously, being a big man, did you ever feel like you posed a threat to anybody or anything like that? Well, I would be. I was 20 years old. That's what I mean. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, I've told this before. I went bankrupt at 30. I used to sell cars, yeah, and if there's something wrong with them, they're all right. Yeah, I used to help them out. If they were funny with me on the phone, I'd say you're not even fucking up, you're not even a penny.
Speaker 2:And it's funny you're saying this about being a big man. I got touched a cart two or three times, yeah, and bailiffs used to come to my house. So I used to, honestly. Bailiffs used to come to my house and I used to and knock on and I knew they were coming. I used to answer the door with my underpants on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pissed up and you say come in, I've not had my tablets and you didn't used to. I was a big bloke and they used to come in and they wouldn't come in. They had to send a woman Because I didn't give a fuck. You know what I mean. So that section you're a big blow. You know they were worried. Yeah, a lot of people were worried because you know I was capable of a lot of things.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, because you use around like a lot of boxing circle. Yeah, I used to box. I used to. I could be professional box.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've been good I used to box drunk? Yeah, I used to. I used to train with professionals and be as good as them. I used to be drunk and didn't even know no, honestly that my like it's just. My life was ruled by drink yeah many of it. I used to drink, I used to have six cans of beer and go and train with professionals and out train them, you know, and that could have been a good boxer.
Speaker 1:But another thing drink fucks it up because I saw a picture of you, you and Mike Tyson yeah, I went to fight with him, yeah tell me about that story in Blackpool just in.
Speaker 2:Blackpool yeah, I got a picture with him and said do you want to have a do or whatever hell. I nearly beat him up, couldn't be a feminist. For that we almost nearly had a fight that's not wise.
Speaker 1:We nearly had a fight in Blackpool.
Speaker 2:Anyone there would have seen it and it was, like you know, off my head bonkers, wouldn't I do that?
Speaker 1:sober what I thought? No, of course not drunk drinking drugs changes people.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Then cocaine, you know cocaine? Listen, I'm going to upset the apple cart here. If your husband, the boyfriend, is taking cocaine, yeah, it's 80% chance he's going to cheat on you you know that, because I know that, I know it.
Speaker 1:I tell the truth Increased libido, all this sort of stuff, yeah, it's pervert powder. Pervert powder, he's going to cheat on you and that's what I call it pervert powder, because it's true. I've been there.
Speaker 2:Knowledge no one can question my knowledge. This is why I help people, because I tell the truth. I will say as it is. Do you know what I mean? I speak to fellas all the time and they're all it's the same thing drugs you know, sleeping about pervert powder.
Speaker 1:It's a horrible thing Going about the way you do help people. How did those struggles of yourself including, as you said, being sectioned inform your approach to helping others? Then Just tell the truth.
Speaker 2:Talking. Don't fuck about. You can't pull the wool out of my eyes and everything's not going to be all right unless you make it all right. Yeah, you have to be strong. Weakness kills. Be all right unless you make it all right. Yeah, you have to be strong. Your weakness kills. Yeah, don't be weak. Be strong, be accountable. No one can tell me. You can't stop drinking.
Speaker 2:Everyone can stop drinking I went to rehab yeah, I paid six thousand quid to rehab for two weeks. Yeah, fucking, I left after four days walked out. Four days walked out, went self-licensed. Yeah, yeah, I stopped drinking, went self-licensed.
Speaker 1:So four days I did it see for us as a service. We do a lot of preparation with people around detox and what it is and what it's going to be like. Did you just get there at rehab and think this isn't what I thought I'd be?
Speaker 2:and fucking off, I didn't. They just saw me coming pissed. Just another Danny world, wasn't it? Danny style Got dropped off Three of my.
Speaker 2:Shops off at this place. Fucking Watson, see how I was waving them off. See you, lads. See you in two weeks, I'll be all right. See you, grandad. See you Everything. Great Wedding, fucking thought it'd be great, watson. Hello, it's Danny. It's the Danny show again, isn't it? Yeah, I'm all right, I'm here to. It. Helps you do everything you can not to be in the position to put it in. Because I'll tell you what that first night in that rehab for me was one of the worst nights of my life. Why, what was that?
Speaker 2:like because when that vodka and that beer wears off, it's three o'clock in the morning and you're not going to die. And I say I'm going to die. Now that is fucking life changing. Now that is a story. There's not many counsellors that can tell you that story. I can tell the story. That is one of the scariest times of my life and an eight stone bloke I don't even know his name, I thought he could save my life. That was scary. When that drink I could always get what I want.
Speaker 1:I always got my own way. That's it.
Speaker 2:yeah, Danny always got his own way. That time I couldn't get my own way and I wanted a drink and I couldn't. And he was saying you can't have a drink, you have to stay. And he was feeding me tablets and that, whew, fucking scared me. So anybody who can stay, everyone, can stop drinking.
Speaker 1:They can, I'm telling you now everyone, don't try to go to rehab centres don't go in, save the money or save your relationship, save your family.
Speaker 2:Just do everything you can to stop drinking.
Speaker 1:I think people have this idea of rehab where it's going to be like a little bit of a magic wand, though, don't they?
Speaker 2:they're just going to go in there and it's going to be fixed you get what happens when you can't rehab you go back to the same. You're going back to the same situation. All you're doing is stop drinking but, you're drinking because of the situation you're already in, so it's not a magic. Some people it fixes brilliant, yeah, but you can do it. If you can do it in rehab, you can do it outside, yeah, you know what I mean so you can do it outside what advice would Talk?
Speaker 2:Tell somebody Say listen, I'm struggling with drink. Speak to somebody. If it's not me, you know If I'm not near you. Speak to somebody. Say I am fucking struggling, I am drinking too much. I'm secret drinking. I know everything about drinking. I can read people. People come to me, I read them. I say you're doing this, aren't you doing this? How do you know that? Because I've done it all Bang. Do you know what I? So people come to me vodka bottles, drinking vodka out of bottles at work.
Speaker 2:I've done it all. I used to drink driving. I used to be an HGV driver. I used to drink 20 cans of beer a day to drive to London. I used to be gone. I was drunk driving HGV. I'd only got five beer. What did I stop? What did I fuck? Nothing stopped me drinking. And that series 20 cans of beer every day.
Speaker 1:So you tried rehab then. So what, what did? What did you do differently two years ago, when you did achieve absence, like what was?
Speaker 2:your approach.
Speaker 1:Nearly died. What was your approach? Obviously, you've said you've been in hospital and you nearly died.
Speaker 2:I didn't die but yeah, but then coming at that like being near death, that changes your heart. Do you know what I mean, what I'm saying to people stop drinking before you get to. Of people who's been as close as I have to death can talk. You remember they're all like. You know the addiction. Oh, it's addiction. I lost me.
Speaker 2:I've had a lot of people die around me and my uncle, paul, died of addiction, killed himself, and my best friend killed himself on cocaine, jerry, you know he killed himself. I've been making for all that Ollie full of cocaine killed himself. One of my best friends I've had two best friends kill themselves on me. My other best friend died last year of alcoholism, martin. So I've had very close people die of drinking and cocaine. So you just slow it, stop it. You know I've had it. You know four close people to me have died of drinking addiction. When I was in hospital the person next to me was one of my good friend of mine called Daz, and he I'll tell a story now and he'd come in and he was a drinker and he lied about his drinking. They let him go. Two days later he died Organ failure Because he didn't tell the truth and he was no good friend of mine, so that's five people. He was next to me in bed. I've had five, well, four, he was my mate. Close people have killed themselves or died with drunk and just driving up here on the motorway, doctor phone, doctor, come up, doctor's surgery.
Speaker 2:I think, oh, no, yeah, you're one phone call away from disaster. Yeah, do you know what I mean? So phone went. Yeah, danny, everything's all right. But yeah, your blood clot's a bit low. Yeah, but that's what is anything else? No, well, if you cut yourself, it bleeds too much. Go hospital. Oh, I know everyone does that anyway. Anything else? No, don't worry about it, everything's's alright, carry on that. One phone call he could have said to me we found something bad. Yeah, and that's because of me drinking. Yeah, so don't get in a position that I've been in, where you're waiting on phone calls, because it's a horrible living. Don't think it can, don't happen to you you know, you know and that's why I'm passionate, because I've been it, I've lived it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, looking at your background, you've got this no-nonsense approach to your counselling No-nonsense at all.
Speaker 2:So if you want to try and stop drinking, don't fucking come to me, yeah. If you want to stop drinking, come to me, yeah, send your kids to me, send your sons, send your dad, send your whatever, whatever your father, they will stop drinking with me. No one can question me. If you look at my reviews, no one can question me. My response I work for a clinic, the best clinic in Spain, in Barcelona. They can't contact me. I work there with the high profile people. Yeah, I'm going to Marbella tomorrow, estepona, working with another clinic, going to Baliga tomorrow. Yeah, they want to work with me. They want to work with me, it's 30,000 quid for a month over there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they fly to Dubai or wherever they go around the world and bring them back.
Speaker 1:They want me to work with them because I'm a different approach to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Everything's going to be all right, don't worry. You know I work for a housing association in Bolton and I talk to people, addicts and rehabilitation. You know it's a homeless place. I said right. I said he said yeah, I'm going to do this course with a firm whatever, I don't want to say his name with a you know a drink place. You know like a council room. I said yeah. He said well. I said what have they learnt? He said a drink. I was supposed to squeeze my thumb. Yeah, so if it works, it works but it would never stop me.
Speaker 1:It just hurt my thumb.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I said to him so right, so you're telling me right. So this lad, he's alright. So I said, right, so there's a woman across there, yeah, in a pub, she's got three bags of cocaine, she's got ten cans of beer, yeah, yeah. And she says, okay, will that squeezing your thumb stop? Yeah, and he just left it there.
Speaker 1:No, it won't, it won't.
Speaker 2:The only thing that stops you is your mind.
Speaker 2:You having to be self. You know, relying on yourself to do it, to get your mind. Everything you do, your actions, is you. If you're drinking, it's on you. You can't blame anybody else. Everyone can stop drinking. Yeah, you need to do it yourself, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean and that's why I pushed it onto people that you can't blame anyone else. Everyone can stop drinking. You have to be strong, don't be weak. Do not be weak and you can't go to. Somebody rang me up the day that helped. He said Danny, I've just had four cans of beer. Rang me up laughing. Somebody helped. I Before you go to the shop. Yeah, you know what I mean. I have no nonsense.
Speaker 1:And you know what?
Speaker 2:He rang me up the next day. I'm so sorry. He's never had a drink since. I don't have it. You don't have nonsense. You know I'm a very kind hearted man. You know I follow up all my appointments. I follow up. You know I get the mums texting me they yeah, danger times. Six o'clock on a Friday, danger time, right you?
Speaker 2:know what I told them to do Go to three different supermarkets to get cans of beans. Yeah, so they go to Tesco to get two cans of beans Aldi and Lidl. Yeah, so that'd be danger time between six and eight o'clock where they use a drink. Yeah, they were in Tesco buying three different lots of beans and then they sent me a picture at night. Between six and eight. The danger time is finished.
Speaker 1:By the time you get home. You're giving something to occupy themselves with in that time. Yeah, that's it. Little tricks that are.
Speaker 2:Because it's danger times. You know you have to be accountable. It's all you that does it. You're in control of your own answers so you have to do it yourself.
Speaker 1:How does that? Obviously you kind of alluded to it there, but how does the method resonate with individuals battling addiction? Why is more effective than, say, traditional methods of?
Speaker 2:because everything I, the counselors I've been to in the past, everything was all soft, soft, softer. Everything's all right. Yeah, you know, I mean everything. You know how was your childhood? I don't care, I don't care if your childhood was bad, I don't I want about you saving your wife, don't you? I want you. Yeah, you know, that's how it was. Well, tell me, you know you have yet an hour sessions with counselors right for half an hour. They talk about how your weeks, how the last session was for half an hour, then the half an hour.
Speaker 2:they talk about how your week, how the last session was For half an hour, then the half an hour. How's your week been For an hour? Yeah, I just talk about right, come on, I'm going to stop you drinking. Right, this weekend's coming up. Right, go on, give me a plan. How are you going to stop sniffing on Friday? How are you not going to sniff at the box? Go on, give me a easy be accountable for your actions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you need to be accountable. I wasn't accountable.
Speaker 2:I didn't have to reply. I didn't have to answer to anybody. People answered to me and they said you can't mess with drinking drugs, you have to be firm. All this softly, softly approach, you know like this is another firm. They said to this bloke, I help. He has to take in how many bottle tops he's drunk all week. So when, and caught me. So when he goes in he has to show his bottle tops. So he has to walk around with his pocket full of bottle tops. Makes you cringe.
Speaker 1:Makes me absolutely cringe.
Speaker 2:You know, just be firm, Firm. But like Big Dan talks to me, he's firm but effective, but it works. No one can question my knowledge and my abilities. Look at my reviews. I don't have failure. People don't have failure. People don't fail on me. You won't believe that, would you? You know, people die on me. People don't fail on me. But I save marriages. I save kids staying with their dads, wives not losing husbands yeah, I am a good brother to them. That's why I've got people who have been sparing when they work with me.
Speaker 1:You know that's because I approach. I'm not a magic, I'm not a magician, it's just knowledge, it's a very to be fair, it's kind of it's kind of like interesting to hear in the sense of like with with all these methods to counseling and all these different things that we can do and all these different approaches. It's almost like you've come up with a very simple way to sort this out, and I hope I don't come across like oh, big damn.
Speaker 2:I mean, listen, I'm a lovely, lovely man. I just help many, many people. You know, and I've got, and I've just helped many many people and I've helped loads of women. I helped loads of girls, loads of fellas, businessmen, high-profile celebrities. I helped loads of people and I'm a lovely bloke. People can't say bad words about me but when it comes to work, it's my way. You stop doing it. I'm like I'm a football manager. You know Alex Ferguson.
Speaker 1:He wasn't the best footballer, no, no, of course not, was he? Well, he was the best manager because he was firm, he didn't have shit. I don't take shit.
Speaker 2:You behave yourself. You stop drinking. No excuse to drink. Have you? No one's got an excuse to drink. You can drive to me and go for a walk with me. You've got no excuse to drink. Yeah, have you gas bill, electric bill, shit day at work. You're going to get pissed. Don't work with me like that. Don't wash. Go and do some house, go to the gym go for a walk. Take your missus out buy some flowers. Take your kids to buy some new shoes. Don't get pissed.
Speaker 1:Don't get full of cocaine. Cheat on your wife, cheat on your missus.
Speaker 2:Pervit powder P. How does it make you cheat on your missus? I love it. Give me some responses, yeah, because I will laugh at them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so talking about your own darkest moments, I suppose, has been a key part of your work. So how do you think sharing your story has impacted your clients and what advice do you give to them? Because when they come to me, they're simple and they go.
Speaker 2:I've got a problem. Who's that? That was me two years ago that's a problem, isn't it? Look at me eyes are yellow fucking. In one year I lost six stone, stopped drinking, got engaged, bought a house, seen my kids again and got a job. That's what I did with one year not drinking lost six stone, stayed alive, stopped drinking, got engaged, bought a house, seen my kids and got a job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's when you you know why I did it because I wanted to.
Speaker 2:So if I can do that, don't tell me. You can't get through Saturday night without drinking two bottles of wine and having a coke in. Don't work with me now, do you?
Speaker 1:know what I mean. Do you think you're wired differently to other people, though probably?
Speaker 2:not I.
Speaker 1:I am what I am, yeah Successful, got three great kids, got everything I want, I suppose it's one of them things where do you know, like if I was meeting you and if I didn't think, oh, this isn't going to work for me, then it doesn't work for me, does it? No, but then I think it's one of them things where, if you meet with you and you worry about your approach to it and I helped over 200 people.
Speaker 2:200 people did fail. Look at my reviews. In one year I'm not counting, but over 200 people. Look at my reviews. They're not fake. We're going working in two clinics in Barcelona, in Spain. That's not fake. I'm going flying out tomorrow morning and I will put pictures on me at these clinics, me going to Barcelona. I'll put pictures on with the number one centre, the number one therapist, the doctor, the number one doctor in Europe. It's not fake. You've seen something in me where he can help us.
Speaker 1:Big Dan can help us.
Speaker 2:That works, yeah, it's a bit of a different approach. You know you go into counsellors office on. I'm not saying there's nothing bad about women, but chanting music on candles on saying, oh, what's happening? Oh, everything alright. How was your childhood? You're not going to drink tonight, are you? Alright, we'll see you next week that's not going to make you stop fucking drinking. No.
Speaker 1:I'm not disagreeing with you in that sense because with services even like ours, you know people on opiate prescriptions. You can't see someone once every four weeks and give them a prescription, spend half out of them and expect them to change.
Speaker 2:It don't work like that, Do you know my people that I help, right? I say to them if you're struggling, ring me up, I'll tell you, don't be fucking weak, yeah. If I'm tempted, don't be weak, don't let me down, yeah, so that's what I do. If you go to these other people, can I speak, I feel, when I want to drink. Oh well, he's not available until tomorrow afternoon. Now you cannot drink, yeah.
Speaker 1:I have the personal you make yourself accessible.
Speaker 2:I have a personal purpose. I like to say I'm Barry's most famous alcoholic. That's what I call myself. You know, I wish I was there put that on your fly. Yeah, but I am but I have changed my life. Everyone says to me Danny, you're an inspiration. How have you done what you've done two years ago? You're dead. Last year I was in Hollywood making a film. You had a thing like that, hollywood. I was in a series Netflix series on Hollywood being a pain in the cowboy.
Speaker 1:You tell me how that happens. You know what happens, don't?
Speaker 2:you Because I wanted to change.
Speaker 1:Yeah, people can't change me so.
Speaker 2:I've gone from death's door, from hospital to Hollywood, and I mean that Last year I was flying around in private jets in America making a Netflix series in Hollywood. So you tell me that you can't stop drinking if I can.
Speaker 1:Easy. Do you believe in the power of manifestation as well? He talks a lot about fear. Do you believe in like your life's planned? Yeah, yeah, if you want something, it's made to be yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if that blood test is supposed to be bad, it's made to be.
Speaker 1:I live till I'm 80.
Speaker 2:No, your life's planned, you and take drugs. Yeah, that's a massive key, so don't get caught with your underpants down and shagging your neighbour. Yeah, you've got your own look, haven't you? Yeah, is that true?
Speaker 1:Don't get caught downstairs watching porn with your wife's on stage, because you're off your head.
Speaker 2:I hear it all the time. Yeah, people won't say that, will they? But that's not a disease.
Speaker 2:Talk to me through all that then, because it's obviously Disease is a kid who's in an elderly hospital, who's got tubes coming out of her. That's a fucking disease. I was drinking disease. You jump up in the morning. You drive home from work. You get eight cans of beer from the shop. That's not a disease, it's a choice, it's a weakness, it's an illness. What's an illness? Covid's an illness. You don't choose to have it, do you? Yeah, flu's an illness, you could argue. You don't choose to be an addict. Well, yeah, but you can stop.
Speaker 2:No one's going to make you go shop If you wake up with flu.
Speaker 1:you don't choose to have flu, do you? You choose to go to the shop? Yeah, you chose to. People talk about this as like cancer's an illness.
Speaker 2:I've heard that I used to wake up and go to the shop and buy vodka Because I didn't want to fight it. I didn't want to fight it. It's too easy to do it. But if I would have fought it, worked in it and all the time just stopped, yeah, it was my choice. Drinking's a choice. So all these people, now, when I can't stop, you can stop do you think of the word recovery?
Speaker 1:then, if you, if you, you know, do you see?
Speaker 2:yourself as somebody in recovery.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Do you consider yourself to be in recovery? No, if you don't use the word so, but it's just normal, I'm normal.
Speaker 2:You know, like they say, I'm an alcoholic, I don't call myself an alcoholic. It's like if you're a roofer, yeah, do you know what I mean? Is that true?
Speaker 1:I get it. Is that true? I get it. I'm not even an alcoholic, I won't cast myself.
Speaker 2:I used to drink. I've not got a drink problem.
Speaker 1:I'm not an alcoholic because I don't drink, I'll never drink again. How do you know you'll never drink again? Because I won't. Well, I fuck never.
Speaker 2:I know, I won't, you know and I've been in tested times, tested situations, very testing. It doesn't even come in my mind. It's like I've had a stroke. Do you know what I mean? Like I've had a stroke or something you know? Like the mad when I used to be in my mad days. It used to be crackers. Because I used to be crackers, I used to wish. I used to honestly say I wish that I hope I get run over, yeah, and whack my head on the floor. And I used to honestly for Because I couldn't control what I was doing. You know, I was like I could control it, because if I weren't drinking, I wouldn't have had drugs. I wouldn't have done it, would I? Yeah, so I could have controlled it, but I didn't. But when I wanted to, I could.
Speaker 2:So, everything was good and I stopped drinking for a long time. 18 months, seven months. I could do it, but being weak, being weak, you know, and then you go.
Speaker 1:Is that what you saw every time you had a lapse or a relapse?
Speaker 2:Weakness, yeah, a night out or a bird or something like that. That's stupid, but it's my choice. I had three bits of kids there the next wife and the house, but I chose to go out and fuck it up.
Speaker 1:My choice is what you're saying there You're taking a lot of accountability. You have to be accountable.
Speaker 2:Every drink is accountable for your own actions. Yeah, you're accountable for your own actions. You walk in the shop, you go in Tesco. You're accountable. You're going to, you know, drinking vodka at work. You're accountable. Everything's. There's a method. There's always something to beat the method. Do you know what I mean? I'm stressed at work. I'm drinking every day at work. Have a week off, stay in bed. Stay in bed. Eat bacon butters all day, have kebabs at night. If you eat, you don't drink simple fact in it you know I used to help a lad.
Speaker 2:He used to have a ban on cocaine. Used to work in Liverpool. Used to drive back from Liverpool every Friday. Every Friday drive back four o'clock, ring his dealer, the services. By the time he got back to Haywood I'd pass five gates to sniff.
Speaker 1:So what he?
Speaker 2:used to do. He used to meet me every Friday. I used to take him for a kebab. We used to go for a kebab. So every Friday he had a kebab with me at six o'clock. He was that full he didn't have a sniff. He didn't want a sniff. You know, after four weeks career drinking drugs when I was full I'd never drunk. When I was full, I didn't have cocaine. So I just put my method If you've got a full stomach or you eat chocolate, loads of chocolate you don't want to drink, do you?
Speaker 2:It's just like have you had that one tub of ice cream? You have a tub of ice cream. Would you have a pint of lager? No, it's our method. No, it don't it's our method.
Speaker 1:No, it's true, I love the idea of people just saying I'm not going to drink anymore, I'm just going to have a tub of ice cream.
Speaker 2:No, but I'm saying you have ice cream. Have you ever seen anybody drink a pint of lager with ice cream?
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you don't do you Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:But that's knowledge. Don't go into the pub and say, would you?
Speaker 1:yeah, if you have a kebab, a massive kebab.
Speaker 2:No, you won't want another part of the lager. It's just little things like that I can help you with with my knowledge, but don't forget my knowledge. It's cost me a lot of money. I spent a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of money on my career fucking a lot of money.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how much do you reckon you've spent on cocaine I? I don't want to bet? I don't give a fuck. As you said at the beginning, there was a time when cocaine was free. Well, yeah, but I used to be able to tell when it wasn't Well?
Speaker 2:yeah, of course, yeah, fucking 500 quid a day sometimes 400 quid a day, ridiculous yeah but I think that's what it was. Yeah, and that binges, six-week binges here for two weeks how much it cost me.
Speaker 1:I love the specific and the amount of holidays I the amount of holidays I booked and lost with my ex-wife you know I'm thinking.
Speaker 2:I booked these holidays by the time the holiday come. She fucked me off because I'd done something. The amount of holidays I've lost you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Thomas Cook must have loved me, because every time you book something because this went wrong, yeah, all because taking drink drugs yeah, what message do you? Do you hope to leave them for people still that is still struggling? And how do you use your experience and I mean especially from that that rock and roll access to professional success to inspire hope and resilience in others as well? What one word? No, just anything, just don't be weak.
Speaker 2:That is it don't chalk it down to that don't be weak, you're weak, you're gonna fail. Don to fail. Don't be weak. Don't be weak. You have to tell people I say are you a weak person? No, I'm not weak. Well, show me you're not weak. Show me. Show me, you're not weak. Weakness Drinking's a weakness. Show me you love your family.
Speaker 1:Well don, they are weak.
Speaker 2:I look at them funny. I say well, if a bloke come up to you now and said to you, a little bloke who's four foot said to you, give me your wallet, what would you say to him?
Speaker 1:You say no, because you know, it's not right, you know, you're not going to give me your wallet. So what in my wallet? You know what a?
Speaker 2:drink's not ruining my life, as soon as they say that to me.
Speaker 1:I get people say that to me yeah, I feel weak. Well, give us your wallet then no, I'm not giving it you've shown strength in that. Yeah, you've shown strength in that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but don't forget all these things I use.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they work yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. I work for the probation service. I work for them. Like I said, I work for Ball and Owls, I work for them.
Speaker 2:I just do a speech for them. Everything works, you know, they can't question me.
Speaker 1:You can't question your methods if there's results. At the end of it is what you're saying. Yeah, of course it is. You can't tell me you know.
Speaker 2:It's like these people that say you know, I'll struggle with drink at weekends. Well, what happens if you get locked up on a Friday but not paying your TV licence? Yeah, this is what I say to them. There's another thing theoretically, you don't pay your TV licence, they arrest you on a Friday, at any time, and they don't let you out until Monday. What are you going to say to the policeman when you're in a cell? I need to have cell. I can't drink. Just because you're free doesn't mean you have to drink. Same thing.
Speaker 1:Imagine yourself in scenarios where you can't have access to those things.
Speaker 2:Well, if you're in a police cell.
Speaker 1:You have to do it and there's no answer to it. What would you do with being more theoretical with it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just normal knowledge.
Speaker 1:Is there anything else that you want to go through?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Oh fucking, just don't die.
Speaker 2:Just don't die Just don't die, don't have the life I've had, because, you know, don't have the life I've had. Yeah, you know, I've got everything I want. I've got three beautiful children. Yeah, you know, I've got a son who's 22. He's a boxer. I've got a lad who's 18 on Daddy didn't give a fuck, and that only because, you know, I didn't see my kids for five years. You know, and it's just, and I always heard about stories about, you know, I seen your daddy. He didn't look well, he looked yellow. He looked, you know, his eyes were yellow. They've had bad stories, you know, and I I wasn't the best dad, but they give them what they want.
Speaker 1:I wasn't like with them. Now, what brilliant yeah.
Speaker 2:Absolutely great, my son. Everything's brilliant with me because I'm good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if I'm good, everything's. Good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if I'm bad, I'm all fucked up. You know, and they've seen me, don't forget. For, like my oldest is 22, he's seen me drinking since he was born, you know, down to the ear, down to the ear police area, terrible, all to do with drinking drugs.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm so passionate about what I do and your son being 22, what's his relationship like with alcohol? He doesn't drink. He's a boxer. He doesn't drink the middle one.
Speaker 2:He's a character, but he's not that he's just a character. I mean his daughter's 12. But the great you know, mum's a good woman. I don't get on with her, really. I seen her out the other day, you know. She looked at me and smiled, I think then she forgot that she hates me, yeah, and she forgot that she's married to me. But they got a good mum but you know, but now I'm like the best mate but don't forget in my life there was loads of times I stopped drinking so there's months.
Speaker 2:so I I was pissed all the time, because I was pissed all the time A lot of the time I was, but with massive binge drinking. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we finished most of these podcasts. Well, we finished all these podcasts with 10 quickfire questions Completely unrelated to what we've spoken about so far. My first question is what's your favourite word, my favourite word?
Speaker 2:Happiness. Least favourite word. What Least favourite word? Least favourite word Failure.
Speaker 1:Tell me something that excites you, elvis Presley, something that doesn't excite you Going to sleep, what sound or noise do you love?
Speaker 2:Sound or noise. Do I love Elvis Presley? Sound or noise. Do you hate Song finishing.
Speaker 1:Favourite swear word Cunt. What profession Other than your own Would you like to attempt? What?
Speaker 2:What? What Professional in my own that I like To be Placeman.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nice. What profession Would you not like to do?
Speaker 2:What profession Be a fake corpse? Yeah, work that out.
Speaker 1:I tried to then. And lastly, if heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Speaker 2:what would he say?
Speaker 1:Danny rolls in on the stairs. What does he say to you?
Speaker 2:that was a good question. What would I like to say? You left the world too early. You've got too much to give. That's nice.
Speaker 1:Danny, thank you so much for coming on. Believe in People. It's been a pleasure.
Speaker 2:Like I say, I just you know if you follow me on Facebook, daniel Ramsey talks with Dan my ways. You know they work. It's just I'm a counsellor. I'm a self self taught. They work. I'm a counsellor. I'm a self-taught counsellor. I've been spending lots and lots of money on drinking and drugs. Getting better, beating death. Just knowledge of drinking. It's a weakness. Drinking's a weakness. Don't be weak. Don't lose your kids. Keep your families. Don't let somebody else bring your kids up because you can't stop drinking, because you want to go and drink. Don't take cocaine, don, okay, don't sleep about just all the usual things in life. And the key to worry is happiness. Be happy. Do whatever you have to do to be happy. Happiness is the key to life. If you're not happy, people drink and take drugs out because they're not happy. Yeah, if you're happy, you don't drink.
Speaker 1:You don't drink really if you think about it people won't have two bottles of wine because they're not happy yeah, happiness.
Speaker 2:Do whatever you have to do to be happy, because if you're happy, happy you sleep better, you eat better, you look better, you perform better, you have a better family.
Speaker 1:Thank you, danny. I appreciate that. It's been great Cheers. Thank you, and if you've enjoyed this episode of the Believe in People podcast, we'd love for you to share it with others who might find it meaningful. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode. No-transcript.
